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Funny Jokes

The largest collection of jokes.

The Detroit Lions

Q: What do you call 47 millionaires around a TV watching the Super Bowl?
A: The Detroit Lions.

Q: What do the Detroit Lions and Billy Graham have in common?
A: They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell “Jesus Christ.”

Q: How do you keep a Detroit Lion out of your yard?
A: Put up goal posts.

Q: Where do you go in Detroit in case of a tornado?
A: To Ford Field – they never get a touchdown there.

Q: What do you call a Detroit Lion with a Super Bowl ring?
A: A thief.

Q: Why doesn’t Grand Rapids have a professional football team?
A: Because then Detroit would want one.

Q: What’s the difference between the Detroit Lions and a dollar bill?
A: You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.

Q: How many Detroit Lions does it take to win a Super Bowl?
A: Nobody knows and we may never find out.

Q: What do the Detroit Lions and possums have in common?
A: Both play dead at home and get killed on the road

Latest College Jokes

A Quickie

So, a guy walks into a psychiatrist’s office wearing nothing but saran wrap, and the psychiatrist says: “I can clearly see you’re nuts”.

Iraqi Stoners

Q: Why can’t you smoke weed in Iraq?

A: Because there is no piece in the middle east!

Vietnam Vet

Q:How many Vietnam Vets does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A:YOU DONT KNOW MAN YOU WERENT THERE!

American Beer

Q: How is having sex in a canoe similar to American beer?

A: They are both fucking close to water!

Doctor! Doctor!

A man rushes to his doctor’s office and says, “Doctor! Doctor! You gotta help me! I’ve got a carrot in my left ear and a banana in my right ear and a chicken wing up my nose!”

“Well, son,” the old doctor says. “It’s quite obvious you haven’t been eating properly.”