Signs Your Co-Worker Is a Hacker
– Everyone who ticks him or her off gets a $26,000 phone bill.
– Has won the Publisher’s Clearing House Sweepstakes three years running.
– When asked for their phone number, they give it in hex.
– Seems strangely calm whenever the office LAN goes down.
– Somehow gets HBO on their PC at work.
– Mumbled, “Oh, puh-leeeez!” 295 times during the movie “The Net.”
– Massive 401k contribution made in half-cent increments.
– Their video dating profile lists “public-key encryption” among turn-ons.
– Instead of the “Welcome” voice on AOL, you overhear, “Good Morning, Mr./Ms. President.”
– You hear them murmur, “Let’s see you use that VISA card now, Professor “I-Don’t-Give-A’s-In-Computer-Science!”
What’s the difference between a computer and a woman?
A computer will accept a three-and-a-half-inch floppy.
Microsoft and a Halter Top
What do Microsoft and a halter top have in common?
Both offer very little support!
Why E-Mail is Like a Penis
Those who have it would be devastated if it was ever cut off.
Those who have it think that those who don’t are somehow inferior.
Those who don’t have it may agree that it’s neat, but think it’s not worth the fuss that those who have it make about it.
Many of those who don’t have it would like to try it, a phenomenon psychologists call “E-Mail Envy.”
It’s more fun when it’s up, but this makes it hard to get any real work done.
In the distant past, its only purpose was to transmit information vital to the survival of the species.
Some people still think that’s the only thing it should be used for, but most folks today use it mostly for fun.
If you don’t take proper precautions, it can spread viruses.
If you use it too much, you’ll find it becomes more and more difficult to think coherently.
We attach an importance to it that is far greater than its actual size and influence warrant.
If you’re not careful what you do with it, it can get you into a lot of trouble.
If you play with it too much, you could go blind.
If Microsoft Was Looking for Drivers
If Microsoft built cars you would need to restart your car, then it would perform illegal operations and crash.