Four Catholic women were having tea one afternoon. One of the women placed her cup down and started a conversation.
“Ladies, my son became a priest last week. When he walks into a room, people call him ‘FATHER'”
The second Catholic lady then placed her cup down and looked at the first lady. “Well, my son has been a bishop for a few months now. When he walks into the room, people say ‘YOUR GRACE'”
The third Catholic lady places her cup down and shakes her head. “You ladies are so silly! My son has been a cardinal for years! When he walks into the room, people say ‘YOUR EMINENCE!'”
The last Catholic woman remained quiet, pretending to be uninterested in their conversations. The other three looked at her and asked “Well …?”
The last woman placed her cup down and looked at the other three. “My son is a gorgeous, 6’2, hard-bodied stripper. Then HE walks into a room, people scream ‘OH MY GOD!'”
A little boy runs into his house and asks, “Mom, can little girs have babies?”
The mom answers, “No, of course not.” The little boy runs outside, yelling, “It’s ok, we can play the game again!”
Sam: Would you punish me for some thing i didn’t do?
Teacher: No, of course not.
Sam: Good, because i didn’t do my homework.
Q: How do you change a blonde’s mind?
A1: Blow in her ear.
A2: Buy her another beer.
Two Americans decide to open a bungee-jumping business in Mexico.
They set up on the square of a small village. Bob jumps, bounces at the end of the cord, and flies back up by the platform. Jeff isn’t able to catch his friend, but he notices he has a few cuts and scratches.
Bob falls again, bounces, and comes back up. This time, he is bruised and bleeding. Again, Jeff misses him. The third time it happens, Bob comes back pretty messed up – he’s got a couple of broken bones and is almost unconscious. Luckily, Jeff finally catches him and says, “Holy cow, what happened? Was the cord too long?”
Bob looks confused and says, “No, the cord was fine… but what the heck is a pinata?”