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Funny Jokes

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3 Goats and Bubbles

There were four goats who all died on the same day and went up to the Pearly Gates. To get into Heaven, they had to tell their name and the last thing they did on Earth.

Well, the first goat walked up and said, “My name is Baa, and I blew bubbles,” so he was told he could go on in.

Then the next goat came up and said, “My name is Baa Baa, and I blew bubbles,” so he was told he too could go on in.

Then the third goat came up and said, “My name is Baa Baa Baa, and I blew bubbles.” Annoyed now, the gatekeeper said he could go on in.

Finally, the last goat walked up, and the Gatekeeper said, “Let me guess. Your name is Baa Baa Baa Baa, and you blew bubbles.”

And the goat said, “No, my name is Bubbles and I…”

3 Goats and Bubbles

There were four goats who all died on the same day and went up to the Pearly Gates. To get into Heaven, they had to tell their name and the last thing they did on Earth.

Well, the first goat walked up and said, “My name is Baa, and I blew bubbles,” so he was told he could go on in.

Then the next goat came up and said, “My name is Baa Baa, and I blew bubbles,” so he was told he too could go on in.

Then the third goat came up and said, “My name is Baa Baa Baa, and I blew bubbles.” Annoyed now, the gatekeeper said he could go on in.

Finally, the last goat walked up, and the Gatekeeper said, “Let me guess. Your name is Baa Baa Baa Baa, and you blew bubbles.”

And the goat said, “No, my name is Bubbles and I…”

Latest Animal Jokes

Inside an elephant’s stomach

What do you do when you are trapped inside an elephant’s stomach?
Run around til you get pooped out!

The Law of the Jungle

Two guys were hiking through the jungle when they spotted a tiger who looked both hungry and fast. One of the guys reached into his pack and pulled out a pair of Nikes.

His friend looked at him. ”Do you really think those shoes are going to make you run faster than that tiger?”

”I don’t have to run faster than that tiger,” his friend replied. ”I just have to run faster than you.”

Porridge

It’s a sunny morning in the big forest and the Bear family is just waking up. Baby Bear goes downstairs and sits in his small chair at the table. He looks into his small bowl. It is empty! “Who’s been eating my porridge!” he squeaks. Daddy Bear arrives at the table and sits in his big chair. He looks into his big bowl. It is also empty! “Who’s been eating my porridge?” he roars. Mommy Bear puts her head through the serving hatch from the kitchen and screams, “For Goodness sake, how many times do we have to go through this? I haven’t made the porridge yet!”

The Boss

One day a man goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot. The assistant takes the man to the parrot section and asks the man to choose one. The man asks, “How much is the yellow one?”
The assistant says, “$2000.” The man is shocked and asks the assistant why it’s so expensive.

The assistant explains, “This parrot is a very special one. He knows typewriting and can type really fast.”

“What about the green one?” the man asks.

The assistant says, “He costs $5000 because he knows typewriting and can answer incoming telephone calls and takes notes.”

“What about the red one?” the man asks.

The assistant says, “That one’s $10,000.”

The man says, “What does HE do?”

The assistant says, “I don’t know, but the other two call him boss.”

C-ing I Dog

Two guys were walking their dogs and came across a bar. Since they were hot and tired from walking the dogs they decided to go in and have a drink. Unfortunately, the bar didn’t allow dogs. There was no place to safely secure the dogs, so they started thinking of ideas to get in the bar. Then one of the guys had an idea.

“Just watch me and follow my lead,” he said.

He walked into the bar with his dog and the bartender stopped and said to him, “I’m sorry but I can’t let you in here.”

The guy looked at the bartender and asked, “Why not?”

The bartender replied, “Well, we don’t allow dogs into the bar.”

“But this is my seeing eye dog,” the guy said.

“Oh, I’m sorry sir come on in, and by the way, nice golden retriever.”

The guy went into the bar and the second guy walked in with his dog. The bartender stopped him and told him he can’t let him in. When asked why not the bartender replied that you cannot have dogs in his bar.

“But this is my seeing eye dog,” said the second guy.

The bartender looked at the man and then looked at the dog. After a while he said, “Sir, ah um a Chihuahua?”

The man looked a little puzzled and then said, “What? They gave me a Chihuahua?”