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Funny Jokes

The largest collection of jokes.

A Blonde Brain

A guy goes online looking for brains. He sees a red head brain for $2,000, a brunette brain for $1,000, and a blonde brain for $6,000.
The guy asks his friend why the blonde brain is so much and his friend said, “Because it’s never been used.”

Latest Blonde Jokes

Blonde does some painting

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.

“Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?” asked the owner.

The blonde said, “How about 50 dollars?”

The man agreed and told her the paint and other materials that she might need were in the garage. The man’s wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, “Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?”

The man replied, “She should, she was standing on it.”

A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.

“You’re finished already?” he asked.

“Yes,” the blonde answered, “and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats.”

Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50, gave it to her and said he’d call her whenever he had another job for her to do.

The blond thanked him and, as she was walking back down the path, she called out “And by the way, I know everybody thinks blondes are stupid, but I thought you should know that it’s not a Porch, it’s a Ferrari.”

Beer bottle

Q: What does a blond and a beer bottle have in common?

A: They’re both empty from the neck up.

Banana Peel

A blonde walks down the street and sees a banana peel a hundred yards ahead, and she sighs.

“Here we go again.”

Hitting a Blonde

Q: How do you hit a blonde and she will never know it?
A: With a thought.

911

Q: Why did the blonde try and steal a police car?

A: She saw “911” on the back and thought it was a Porsche.