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Funny Jokes

The largest collection of jokes.

A few Shorties

What do you call an advanced degree in sensationalistic journalism?
A doctor-it degree.

What’s the difference between a well-brushed equine and rapid teaching?
A well-brushed equine is a curried horse while rapid teaching makes for a hurried course.

What do you get for a friend who is graduating from Law School?
A Lobotomy.

Zadnji dodani

How do blonde brain cells die?

Q: How do blonde brain cells die?

A: Alone.

How do you stop a fish from smelling?

Q: How do you stop a fish from smelling?

A: Cut it’s nose off.

10 reasons why latinos can’t be terrorist

10. 8:45am is too early for us to be up. 
9. We are always late, we would have missed all 4 flights. 
8. Pretty people on the plane distract us. 
7. We would talk loudly and bring attention to ourselves. 
6. Food and drinks were on the plane. 
5. We talk with our hands, we would have put our weapons down. 
4. We would all want to fly the plane. 
3. We would argue and start a fight in the plane. 
2. We would have told everyone a week before doing it. 
1. We would have put our countries flag on the windshield. 

Baseball in heaven

Two buddies, Bob and Earl, were two of the biggest baseball fans in America.

Their entire adult lives, Bob and Earl discussed baseball history in the winter, and they poured over every box score during the season. They went to 60 games a year. They even agreed that whoever died first would try to come back and tell the other if there was baseball in heaven.

One summer night, Bob passed away in his sleep after watching the Yankee victory earlier in the evening. He died happy.

A few nights later, his buddy Earl awoke to the sound of Bob’s voice from beyond.

“Bob is that you?” Earl asked.

“Of course it me,” Bob replied.

“This is unbelievable!” Earl exclaimed. “So tell me, is there baseball in heaven?”

“Well I have some good news and some bad news for you. Which do you want to hear first?”

“Tell me the good news first.”

“Well, the good news is that yes, there is baseball in heaven, Earl.”

“Oh, that is wonderful! So what could possibly be the bad news?”

“You’re pitching tomorrow night.”

Changing Winds

What did one skunk say to the other skunk when the wind changed? Its all coming back to me now!