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Funny Jokes

The largest collection of jokes.

Blonde Hiding

One day a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead snuck into a farm.
The farmer said to his wife, “I think I hear something outside.”
The girls heard the door open,and they all ran in different directions.
The brunette ran into the cow pen. The redhead ran into the pig pen, and the blonde ran into the potato patch.
The farmer went to the cow pen and said,”Is there anyone there?” The brunette said,”Mmmmmmmoooooo.”
Then he went over to the pig pen and the farmer said, “Is there anyone there?” and the redhead said, “Oink oink.”
Then he went over to the potato patch and said, “Is there anyone there?” and the blonde said, “Potatooooo.”

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Blonde Testing Center

Why’d the blonde go to the mall?

She had a makeup test!

Blonde’s Backseat

A blonde and a guy were out on a date and they ended up at “Lovers’ Cove” where they were making out. The guy thought that things were going pretty good and maybe he would get lucky tonight, so he thought that he would ask her if she wanted to go in the back seat.
“NO!” yelled the blonde.

The guy just figured that she wasn’t ready yet. Things got pretty hot and the guy thought he would try again.

“NO!” the blonde yelled again.

Things got even hotter and the blond was down to her bra and the guy even had her pants unzipped.

“Do you wanna go in the back seat yet?” asked the guy.

“For the last time, NO!” said the blonde. Frustrated, the guy asked, “Well, why the hell not?”

The blonde looked at him and said, “Because I wanna stay up here with you.”

Three Blondes

There were three blondes living together. Blonde #1 was coming back from grocery shopping, and she dropped her keys. She walked down the stairs to get them, and she said to herself, ”Am I going up the stairs or down the stairs?” So, she stood there puzzled, the bags of groceries still in her hands.

Blonde #2 was taking a bath, and was draining the tub because it was too cold. With her hair still dry, she said to herself, ”Was I getting in the tub or out of the tub?” She stood there, just thinking about it.

Blonde #3 was sitting in the living room in front of the coffee table, and she said to herself, ”Knock on wood I’m not as stupid as the other two!” She knocked the table. ”Was that the front door or the back door?”

Blonde in an Elevator

A tall blonde and a tall brunette are stading in an elevator. A short bald man with lots of dandruff walks in, then gets off at the next floor. The brunette says, “Boy he could use some head and shoulders.”

The blonde says, “Hm. How do you give shoulders?”

B-U-R-G-E-R- K-I-N-G

Two blondes were on holiday in Navajo country and they drove through a small township called ‘Chihanchako’.
The one blonde turned to the other and said, “Gee how do ya pronounce that?” 15 The other one shrugged and said, “Maybe we can ask when we stop for lunch.”
So in the small township they stopped and walked into a fast food place where the first blonde said, “Excuse me but how do ya pronounce this place we’re in?”
The blonde girl behind the counter looked them both up and down, rolled her eyes, and said slowly “B-U-R-G-E-R- K-I-N-G”