Stoopid Baby Names
A mother was sitting on the couch reading a book when one of her children walked up to her and said, “Mummy, why is my name Petal?”
The mother replied, “Because when you were born, a petal fell on your head.”
The next baby walked up and asked, “Mummy why is my name Rose?” she replied,
“Because when you were born, a rose fell on your head.” The last baby walked up to her and said, “BLAS CLAFLAS YIFRASSAM TASSM POONNFFFIINRTY.”
The mother replied, “Please be quiet, Fridge.”
Two drunks are walking along. One drunk says to the other, “What a beautiful night, look at the moon.”
The other drunk stops and looks at his drunken friend, “You are wrong. That’s not the moon, that’s the sun.”
Both started arguing for a while when they came upon another drunk walking, so they stopped him. “Sir, could you please help settle our argument? Tell us what that thing is up in the sky that’s shining. Is it the moon or the sun?”
The third drunk looked at the sky and then looked at them and said, “Sorry, I don’t live around here.”
What did the snowman and his wife put over their baby’s crib?
Q: What did the snowman and his wife put over their baby’s crib?
A: A snowmobile!
Three men are at a bar, and two of the men are talking about the control they have over their wives, while the third remains silent.
After a while, the first two men turn to the third and ask, “What about you? What kind of control do you have over your wife?”
The third man turns to the first two and says, “Well, I’ll tell you, just the other day I had her on her knees.”
The first two men were dumbfounded.
“Wow! What happened next?” they asked.
The third man takes a healthy swig of his beer, sighs and mutters, “Then she started screaming, ‘Get out from under the bed and fight like a man!’”
Interviewing 3 Old Men
Three old men were sitting on a bench when a reporter approached them. “I wonder if you three would be willing to do an interview and tell me your secret to long life,” the reporter asked. The three old men agreed and the reporter asked the first old man his secret to long life.
“I never drank alcohol, I never smoked tobacco and I have been married to the same woman for fifty years.”
“That’s really remarkable!” said the reporter, “And how old are you?”
“I’m 93,” said the first old man.
The second man was asked the same question on his secret to long life. “I drank on occasion, I smoked, but not often and I dated some.”
“And how old are you?” asked the reporter.
“I’m 91,” said the second old man.
Finally, the reporter approached the third old man and asked his secret to a long life. “I dated every woman that would go out with me, I drank until I passed out and I smoked three packs of cigarettes a day.”
“Wow!” said the reporter, “And how old are you?”
“29,” replied the third man.