Funny Jokes
Send a Joke

Funny Jokes

The largest collection of jokes.

Couple Night Out

A French couple, an Italian couple, and a Polish couple go out to dinner.
Thhe French husband says to his wife “Pass the honey, honey.”
The Italian man says to his wife “Pass the sugar, sweety.”
The polish guy, not quite understanding the situation, says to his wife “Pass the bacon you fat pig”.

Latest Funny Jokes

Starring Insult

If someone ever says, “What are you staring at?”

Say “I don’t know, give me a minute.”

Take Off My Clothes

My wife came home the other night and told me to take off her blouse.

Then she told me to take off her skirt. Then she told me never to wear her clothes again.

Gangster family

A policemen stops a car.
Driver, “Is anything wrong, officer?”
Policeman, “No, we just wanted to reward you for being the 100.000th car driving on this new highway.”
Driver, “Thank God! I thought you are going to ask me for my driving license, ’cause I don’t have one, you know…”
Driver’s Wife, “Don’t belive him anything he says. He’s completely drunk!”
Grandpa on the back seat, “I knew we won’t come far with this stolen car!”
Sonny from the trunk, “Have we crossed the border, yet?”

TOP TWENTY REASONS WHY CHOCOLATE IS BETTER THAN SEX

TOP TWENTY REASONS WHY CHOCOLATE IS BETTER THAN SEX

1. You can GET chocolate.
2. “If you love me, you’ll swallow” has real meaning with chocolate.
3. Chocolate satisfies even when it has gone soft.
4. You can safely have chocolate while you are driving.
5. You can make chocolate last as long as you want it to.
6. You can have chocolate even in front of your mother.
7. If you bite the nuts too hard, the chocolate won’t mind.
8. 2 people of the same sex can have chocolate together without being called nasty names.
9. The word ‘commitment’ doesn’t scare off chocolate.
10. You can have chocolate on top of your desk during working hours without upsetting your workmates.
11. You can ask a stranger for chocolate without getting your face slapped.
12. You don’t get hairs in your mouth with chocolate.
13. With chocolate, there’s no need to fake it.
14. Chocolate doesn’t make you pregnant.
15. You can have chocolate at any time of the month.
16. Good chocolate is easy to find.
17. You can have as many kinds of chocolate as you can handle.
18. You are never too young or too old for chocolate.
19. When you have chocolate it does not keep your neighbors awake.
20. With chocolate size doesn’t matter; it’s always good.

Brain Insult

“Add this up for me. A ton of sawdust, a ton of old newspaper, and a ton of fat. Now, have you got all that in your head?”

“Yes.”

“Yeah, I thought so.”