An off-duty police officer, familiar with radar guns, drove through a school zone within the legal speed limit when the flash of a camera went off, taking a picture of his license plate.
The officer, thinking the radar was in error, drove by again; even more slowly. Another flash. He did it again for a third time, at an even slower speed. Same result.
“This guy must have screwed up the settings,” the off-duty officer thought.
A few weeks later, when he received the violations in the mail, he discovered three traffic tickets: each for not wearing a seat belt!
Einstein Joke, Talks With God
Einstein climbs to the top of Mt. Sinai to get close enough to talk to God.
Looking up, he asks the Lord… “God, what does a million years mean to you?”
The Lord replies, “A minute.”
“Einstein asks, “And what does a million dollars mean to you?”
The Lord replies, “A penny.”
Einstein asks, “Can I have a penny?”
The Lord replies, “In a minute.”
10 reasons why latinos can’t be terrorist
10. 8:45am is too early for us to be up.
9. We are always late, we would have missed all 4 flights.
8. Pretty people on the plane distract us.
7. We would talk loudly and bring attention to ourselves.
6. Food and drinks were on the plane.
5. We talk with our hands, we would have put our weapons down.
4. We would all want to fly the plane.
3. We would argue and start a fight in the plane.
2. We would have told everyone a week before doing it.
1. We would have put our countries flag on the windshield.
Stolen credit card
A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it
because the thief was spending less than his wife did.
As a pre-med student at Washington University in St. Louis, I had to take a difficult class in physics. One day our professor was discussing a particularly complicated concept. A student rudely interrupted to ask, “Why do we have to learn this stuff?”
“To save lives.” The professor responded quickly and continued the lecture.
A few minutes later, the same student spoke up again. “So how does physics save lives?” he persisted.
“It usually keeps the idiots like you out of medical school,” replied the professor.