A Blonde Brain
A guy goes online looking for brains. He sees a red head brain for $2,000, a brunette brain for $1,000, and a blonde brain for $6,000.
The guy asks his friend why the blonde brain is so much and his friend said, “Because it’s never been used.”
There was a man named Joe playing baseball on his wedding day. The guy at the plate hits the ball, and it nails Joe righ in the genitals. His teamates rush him to the hospital and take him into the emergency room. As he’s lying on the table the doctor looks at him and says, ”That’s pretty bad. I don’t think there’s anything I can do for that.”
Joe says, ”Oh please doc it’s my wedding night. You’ve gotta do something!”
The doctor then says, ”Well, I can put two tongue depressors around it and wrap it with gauze tap to immobilize it.”
Joe says, ”Oh thank you, doc. Just don’t tell my fiance.”
They get married and later that night Joe’s lying on the bed and his wife comes out in a sexy outfit. She unbuttons it, grabs her breasts and says, ”Do you see these beautiful breasts? No one else has ever seen these. I’ve been saving them just for you.”
”Thats nothing,” Joe replies. He pulls down his pants and says, ”Look at this. It’s not even out of the box yet!”
A blonde and a red head were walking along a path in a park. The red head turns to the blonde and says,
“Poor thing look at the dog with one eye.”
The blonde covers one of her eyes and says “Where?”
Mr. Jones comes to Singapore to buy some cheap computers, TV sets etc.
He goes to Mr. Cheng’s shop. He enters …
Shop Assistant (SA): Can I help you
MrJ: I’d like to know the price for AT Computers.
SA: All computers 1 US$
MrJ: What ? 1 US$ a computer. I’ll take 10 pcs.
SA: Oh, you’ll take 10 pcs. That’s 1 US$.
MrJ: No you’ve made a mistake. That’s 10 US$.
SA: No, no mistake. 1 US$.
MrJ: Ok. And what’s the price for TV’s
SA: 1 US$
MrJ: I’ll take 20.
SA: Anything else ?
MrJ: Yes, and 100 HiFi Stereos please. That would be all.
SA: Oh, how nice. You pay me one dollar, please.
Mr. Jones pays him the buck and leaves. On the door he turns around and
MrJ: By the way, are you Mr. Cheng ?
SA: No, Mr. Cheng is upstairs, fucking my wife and I’m fucking his business now…
A young man wanted to purchase a gift for his new sweetheart’s birthday, and as they had not been dating very long, after careful consideration, he decided a pair of gloves would strike the right note: romantic, but not too personal.
Accompanied by his sweetheart’s younger sister, he went to Nordstrom and bought a pair of white gloves.
The sister purchased a pair of panties for herself.During the wrapping, the clerk mixed up the items and the sister got the gloves and the sweetheart got the panties. Without checking the contents, the young man sealed the package and sent it to his sweetheart with the following note:
“I chose these because I noticed that you are not in the habit of wearing any when we go out in the evening. If it had not been for your sister, I would have chosen the long ones with the buttons, but she wears short ones that are easier to remove. These are a delicate shade, but the lady I bought them from showed me the pair she had been wearing for the past three weeks and they were hardly soiled. I had her try yours on for me and she looked really smart. I wish I was there to put them on for you the first time, as no doubt other hands will come in contact with them before I have a chance to see you again. When you take them off, remember to blow in them before
putting them away as they will naturally be a little damp from wearing. Just think how many times I will kiss them during the coming year. I hope you will wear them for me on Friday night. All
P.S. The latest style is to wear them folded down with a little fur showing.”