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Funny Jokes

The largest collection of jokes.

Lost in the baloon

Two men are flying in a captive balloon. The wind is ugly and they come away from their course and they have no idea where they are.

So they go down to 15 m above ground and ask a passing wanderer. “Could you tell us where we are?”

“You are in a balloon.”

So the one pilot to the other:

“The answer is perfectly right and absolutely useless. The man must be an economist”

“Then you must be businessmen”, answers the man.

“That’s right! How did you know?”

“You have such a good view from where you are and yet you don’t know where you are!”

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Cow Bells

Why do cows have bells?

Because their horns don’t work.

Presents in the past

Grandfather:
“When I was your age, all I’ve got for Christmas was an apple and a blackberry.

Boy:
“WHAT! A LAPTOP AND A MOBILE?!”

Rookie Pitcher

A rookie pitcher was struggling at the mound, so the catcher walked up to have a talk with him.
“I’ve figured out your problem,” he told the young southpaw. “You always lose control at the same point in every game.”

“When is that?”

“Right after the National Anthem.”

Farmers Date

A farmer had 3 lovely daughters, all who had dates on Friday night. One by one the local boys came by to pick them up.

The first boy arrived and said: “Hi, I’m Eddie, I’m here for Betty, we’re going steady, is she ready?”

The farmer called Betty and she and Eddie went on their way.

The second boy arrived and said: “Hi, I’m Joe, I’m here for Flo, we’re going to the show, is she ready to go?”

The farmer called Flo and she and Joe went on their way.

The third boy arrived in an old beat up pickup, came to the door and said: “Hi, I’m Chuck”

The farmer shot him.

The dog

A blonde and a red head were walking along a path in a park. The red head turns to the blonde and says,
“Poor thing look at the dog with one eye.”
The blonde covers one of her eyes and says “Where?”