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Funny Jokes

The largest collection of jokes.

Magic Mirror

Once upon a time there was a magic mirror that could tell when you were lying. If you were, ZAP! it would suck you in and you were gone forever.
One day, an old lady, a brunette, and a blonde happened by the mirror. The old lady looked in it and said, “I think I’m the most beautiful woman in the world.” ZAP! The mirror sucked her in and she was gone.

The brunette looked in and said, “I think I’m the most beautiful woman in the world.” ZAP! The mirror sucked her in and she, too, disappeared.

The blonde looked in and said, “I think. . .”
ZAP!

Magic Mirror

There was a magic mirrior in this resturant. If you lie to the mirror you will get sucked in. A red head walks in says she thinks she’s president and gets sucked in. A strawberry blonde walks in says she thinks she is as rich as Bill Gates she gets sucked in. A blonde walks in and she says “I think…” and she gets sucked in.

Latest Blonde Jokes

Blonde and a sock

A blonde is walking down the street with her blouse open, exposing one of her breasts.

A nearby policeman approaches her and remarks, “Ma’am, are you aware that I could cite you for indecent exposure?”

“Why, officer?” asks the blonde.

“Because your blouse is open and your breast is exposed.”

“Oh my goodness,” exclaims the blonde, “I left my baby on the bus!”

It hurts

The silver haired lady confronted her doctor with a complaint of pains all over her body.

“Be more precise,” he said. “So I can help you, try pointing to some of the places that hurt.

The silver-haired doll put her finger on her arm and said, “Ouch!” then her finger to her hip and said, “Ouch!” and then to her rib cage and said, “Ouch!” again.

The doctor stopped her and asked, “Were you a blonde before your hair grayed”?

“Why yes!” she said excitedly, “But how did you know?”
The Doc answered, “Your finger’s broken.”

Blondes ‘n’ Birth Control

Why don’t blondes take birth control pills?

Because they keep falling out.

Blondy Beer

Q: What do you say to a Blonde that won’t give in?

A: “Have another beer.”

Computers

A blonde girl enters a store that sells curtains. She tells the salesman:
“I would like to buy a pink curtain in the size of my computerscreen.”

The surprised salesman replies: “But, madam, computers do not have curtains…. ”

And the blonde said: “Helloooo………….I’ve got Windows!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”