Funny Jokes
Send a Joke

Funny Jokes

The largest collection of jokes.

Magic Mirror

Once upon a time there was a magic mirror that could tell when you were lying. If you were, ZAP! it would suck you in and you were gone forever.
One day, an old lady, a brunette, and a blonde happened by the mirror. The old lady looked in it and said, “I think I’m the most beautiful woman in the world.” ZAP! The mirror sucked her in and she was gone.

The brunette looked in and said, “I think I’m the most beautiful woman in the world.” ZAP! The mirror sucked her in and she, too, disappeared.

The blonde looked in and said, “I think. . .”
ZAP!

Magic Mirror

There was a magic mirrior in this resturant. If you lie to the mirror you will get sucked in. A red head walks in says she thinks she’s president and gets sucked in. A strawberry blonde walks in says she thinks she is as rich as Bill Gates she gets sucked in. A blonde walks in and she says “I think…” and she gets sucked in.

Latest Blonde Jokes

B-U-R-G-E-R- K-I-N-G

Two blondes were on holiday in Navajo country and they drove through a small township called ‘Chihanchako’.
The one blonde turned to the other and said, “Gee how do ya pronounce that?” 15 The other one shrugged and said, “Maybe we can ask when we stop for lunch.”
So in the small township they stopped and walked into a fast food place where the first blonde said, “Excuse me but how do ya pronounce this place we’re in?”
The blonde girl behind the counter looked them both up and down, rolled her eyes, and said slowly “B-U-R-G-E-R- K-I-N-G”

Blonde Driving

Q: Why did the blonde get pulled over by the police?

A: Her headlights weren’t working, so she was flashing people.

Jump off a cliff…

A blond and a brunette jump off a cliff. Guess which one hits the ground first?

The brunette. The blond had to stop for directions!

Alligator Shoes

A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.

After becoming very frustrated with the “no haggle” attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, “Maybe I’ll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!”

The shopkeeper said, “By all means, be my guest. Maybe you’ll luck out and catch yourself a big one!”
Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator.

Later in the day, the shopkeeper was driving home, when he spotted the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand.

Just then, he saw a huge 9-foot alligator swimming quickly toward her. She took aim, killed the creature, and with a great deal of effort hauled it on to the swamp bank. Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watched in amazement. Just then the blonde flipped the alligator on its back, and frustrated, shouts out, “Damn it, this one isn’t wearing any shoes either!”

Three Girls in the Desert

A blonde, brunette and redhead are in a desert. The brunette says, “I brought some water so we don’t get dehydrated.” The redhead says, “I brought some suntan lotion so we don’t get sunburned.” Then the blonde says I brought a car door.” The other girls said, “Why did you bring that?” Then the blonde says, “So I can roll down the window if it gets hot.”