Pre-med Upstart
As a pre-med student at Washington University in St. Louis, I had to take a difficult class in physics. One day our professor was discussing a particularly complicated concept. A student rudely interrupted to ask, “Why do we have to learn this stuff?”
“To save lives.” The professor responded quickly and continued the lecture.
A few minutes later, the same student spoke up again. “So how does physics save lives?” he persisted.
“It usually keeps the idiots like you out of medical school,” replied the professor.
Search and Destroy
What is the thing that you keep on looking for and when you find it you throw it away?
A booger.
10 reasons why latinos can’t be terrorist
10. 8:45am is too early for us to be up.
9. We are always late, we would have missed all 4 flights.
8. Pretty people on the plane distract us.
7. We would talk loudly and bring attention to ourselves.
6. Food and drinks were on the plane.
5. We talk with our hands, we would have put our weapons down.
4. We would all want to fly the plane.
3. We would argue and start a fight in the plane.
2. We would have told everyone a week before doing it.
1. We would have put our countries flag on the windshield.
You know
“You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, France is accusing the US of arrogance and Germany doesn’t want to go to war.”
Jerry Seinfeld’s Ponderables…
Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Can fat people go skinny dipping?
Why is the word “abbreviation” so long?
What’s another word for thesaurus?
If a book about failure doesn’t sell, is it a success?
When companies ship Styrofoam, what do they pack it in?
If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
