Upgrading
Last year I upgraded Girlfriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources.
Paper Street
One day in class, the teacher told everyone to turn to a blank sheet of paper in their notebooks. She noticed that Chip, the dumb jock, was having trouble with her directions.
“Have you found a blank piece yet, Chip?” said the teacher.
“Nope. I haven’t,” said the dumb jock. “Somebody went through and drew lines across all of the pages.”
Jokes by Category
Latest Funny Jokes
What’s the matter with you?
A woman went to her doctor’s office. She was seen by one of the new doctors, but after about 4 minutes in the examination room, she burst out screaming and ran down the hall. An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was, and she explained. He had her sit down and relax in another room. The older doctor marched back to the first and demanded, “What’s the matter with you? Mrs. Terry is 63 years old, she has four grown children and seven grandchildren, and you told her she was pregnant?” The new doctor smiled smugly as he continued to write on his clipboard. “Cured her hiccups though, didn’t it?”
Einstein Joke, Talks With God
Einstein climbs to the top of Mt. Sinai to get close enough to talk to God.
Looking up, he asks the Lord… “God, what does a million years mean to you?”
The Lord replies, “A minute.”
“Einstein asks, “And what does a million dollars mean to you?”
The Lord replies, “A penny.”
Einstein asks, “Can I have a penny?”
The Lord replies, “In a minute.”
The well behaved son
Lady 1: My son is very well behaved.
Lady 2: How can you say that? Wasn’t he arrested and imprisoned for 5 years.
Lady 1: Yes, but he got out after 2 years for good behavior inside the jail.
A Drunks Dog
A drunk takes his dog for a walk. After awhile he gets thirsty so he ties his dog to a parking meter in front of a bar and goes in for a couple of beers.
After he has been there for an hour or so the local policeman enters the bar,”Whose dog is tied up out front?”
The drunk responds, “That’s my dog. Is there a problem officer?”
“Well she’s in heat,” says the cop.”
“Oh, she’ll be all right. It’s shady out there.”
“That’s not what I mean. Your dog needs to be bred.”
“I gave her a half of a loaf this morning. She’s fine.”
At this point the policeman is becoming a little upset. “Listen buddy! You don’t seem to understand what I am talking about. That dog wants to mate.”
“Oh, go right ahead officer, I’ve always wanted a police dog.”