Police cars
Q: ‘Why does police drive white/blue cars with red/blue lights with a big police sign in the back?’
A: ‘So they don’t chase each other..’
Paper Street
One day in class, the teacher told everyone to turn to a blank sheet of paper in their notebooks. She noticed that Chip, the dumb jock, was having trouble with her directions.
“Have you found a blank piece yet, Chip?” said the teacher.
“Nope. I haven’t,” said the dumb jock. “Somebody went through and drew lines across all of the pages.”
Jokes by Category
Latest Funny Jokes
Smart Sex
Why are men so smart during sex?
Cause they’re plugged into a genius!
Finish the start
My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start.
So far today, I have finished two bags of chips and a chocolate cake.
I feel better already.
Light bulb
Q: How many unemployed actors does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One hundred. One to change it, and ninety-nine to stand around and say, “Hey, I could’ve done that!”
Sign in the restroom
Sign in the restroom, above the urinal:
We know you’re in the rush
But please, don’t forget to flush.
This inspired me to a new verse:
Feel the bliss,
As you piss.
In that peace,
Flush it, please.