Police cars
Q: ‘Why does police drive white/blue cars with red/blue lights with a big police sign in the back?’
A: ‘So they don’t chase each other..’
One day in class, the teacher told everyone to turn to a blank sheet of paper in their notebooks. She noticed that Chip, the dumb jock, was having trouble with her directions.
“Have you found a blank piece yet, Chip?” said the teacher.
“Nope. I haven’t,” said the dumb jock. “Somebody went through and drew lines across all of the pages.”
Q: ‘Why does police drive white/blue cars with red/blue lights with a big police sign in the back?’
A: ‘So they don’t chase each other..’
Why are men so smart during sex?
Cause they’re plugged into a genius!
My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start.
So far today, I have finished two bags of chips and a chocolate cake.
I feel better already.
Q: How many unemployed actors does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One hundred. One to change it, and ninety-nine to stand around and say, “Hey, I could’ve done that!”
Sign in the restroom, above the urinal:
We know you’re in the rush
But please, don’t forget to flush.
This inspired me to a new verse:
Feel the bliss,
As you piss.
In that peace,
Flush it, please.