A Man And His Giraffe
A man and his pet giraffe walk into a bar and start having a few quiet drinks. As the night goes on, they get pretty drunk. The giraffe finally passes out near the pool tables and the man decides to go home.
As the man is leaving, he’s approached by the barman who says, “Hey, you’re not gonna leave that lyin’ here, are ya?”
“Hmph,” says the man, “that’s not a lion, it’s a giraffe.”
Our Four Sons
Four guys went golfing; one went in the clubhouse to pay while the others waited at the first tee. One of the guys says, “I’m so proud of my son. He is a stock broker and he’s made enought that he just gave away a huge portfolio.” The next guy said, “I’m so proud of my son. He’s a car dealer and he’s doing so well, he just gave away a Ferrari.” The third guy says, “I’m so proud of my son. He’s got enough money that he just gave away a million-dollar home.”
Just as the third guy fininshes talking, the fourth guy joins them and asks, “What are you guys talking about?’
“Just about how good our sons are doing,” the three men replied. “Well, my son is doing very well,” says the fourth man, “He’s a male stripper and just last week he got a huge portfolio, a Ferrari and a million-dollar home.”
A Relative Term
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
Four expectant fathers were in a Minneapolis hospital waiting room,
while their wives were in labour.
The nurse tells the first man, “Congratulations! You’re the father of
“What a coincidence! I work for the Minnesota Twins baseball team!”
The nurse returns and tells the second man, “You are the father of
“Wow, what a coincidence! I work for 3M Corporation!”
When the nurse tells the third man that his wife has given birth to
“Another coincidence! I work for Four Seasons Hotel!”
At this point, the fourth guy faints. When he comes to, the others ask
“What’s wrong?! I work for Seven-Up!”
How can you tell a drummer’s at the door?
Q: How can you tell a drummer’s at the door?
A: The knocking speeds up.