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Funny Jokes

The largest collection of jokes.

Shocked Old Ladies

Three old ladies are sitting in the park on a beautiful spring day feeding the pigeons and the squirrels, when suddenly, a man in a long trench coat jumps in front of them and throws open his coat. He’s completely naked under his jacket. The three old ladies haven’t seen such a thing in a very long time, and their blood pressure shoots up quickly. The first old lady lets out a gasp and has a stroke. The second old lady sees this and it’s too much for her — she gasps and has a stroke, too. The third old lady didn’t have a stroke — she was sitting too far away and couldn’t reach.

Latest Funny Jokes

Q: What do elves learn in school?

Q: What do elves learn in school?

A: The Elf-abet!

Turn On Your Energizer Bunny

What happens when you put the batteries in BACKWARDS in the Energizer Bunny?

He keeps coming and coming and coming…

Police cars

Q: ‘Why does police drive white/blue cars with red/blue lights with a big police sign in the back?’
A: ‘So they don’t chase each other..’

Piece of Ass

One day a teacher had a taste test with her students. She picked a little boy to do the first test. She blindfolded him, put a Hershey kiss in is mouth and asked, “Do you know what it is?”

“No, I don’t,” said the little boy.

“Okay, I’ll give you a clue. It’s the thing your daddy wants from your Mom before he goes to work.”

That’s when a little girl at the back of the room yelled, “Spit it out! It’s a piece of ass!!”

Months of the year

Teacher: What is the first month?
Student: January
Teacher: What is the second month?
Student: February
Teacher: What is the tenth month?
Student: Delivery