Shingles
A man walked into a Doctor’s office. “What do you have?” the receptionist asked.
“Shingles,”he replied.
She told him to sit down. Soon a nurse called him and asked, “What do you have?”
“Shingles,” he replied.
She took his blood pressure, weight, and complete medical history. Then she took him to a room and told him to remove all of his clothes. After a few minutes the Doctor came in and asked,”What do you have?”
“Shingles,” the man told him.
The Doctor looked him up and down and said,”Where?”
“Out on the truck. Where do you want me to unload them?
A Moral Question
This is a completely hypothetical situation that must be answered according to your morals:
Pretend that you’re a photographer who has gone out to the Midwest to take pictures of an ongoing flood. Now as you’re wandering around looking for a good shot, you see George W. Bush in the middle of a rushing river, holding onto a thin branch so he won’t get swept away. The branch is about halfway broken, and you know it will break altogether in a matter of minutes. Now you can do one of two things: You can either rescue him or take an award-winning picture that will secure your place in photographic history.
Now for the question:
Which lens would you use?
Former Doctor
A pipe burst in a doctor’s house. He called a plumber. The plumber arrived, unpacked his tools, did mysterious plumber-type things for a while, and handed the doctor a bill for $800.
The doctor exclaimed, “This is ridiculous! I don’t even make that much as a doctor!.”
The plumber waited for him to finish and quietly said, “Neither did I when I was a doctor.”
Coke Machine
There was a beautiful young blonde who was going to a soda machine and she arrived there just before a business man coming to quench his thirst. She opened her purse and put in 50 cents, studied the machine a little, pushed a Diet Coke selection, and out came a Diet Coke which she placed on a counter by the machine. Then she reached in her purse again and pulled out a dollar and inserted it in the machine. Studying the machine carefully, she pushed the button for Coke Classic and out came a Coke Classic and 50 cents change. She immediately took the 50 cents and put it in the machine, studied it for a moment and pushed the Mountain Dew button. Out came a Mountain Dew. As she was reaching into her purse again, the business man who had been waiting patiently for several minutes now spoke up.
“Excuse me Ms. but are you done yet?”
She looked at him and indignantly replied: “Well Duhhh!, I’m still winning.”
DOB
Cop asks suspect questions:
– What is your DOB ?
– What’s DOB, man ?
– Your birthday.
– Oh, that. September 5th.
– What year ?
– Every year, man!
