Squealing Like A Stuck Boyfriend
A young girl and her boyfriend are driving down the road one day. Her boyfriend suggests that they play road games and that whoever loses has to strip. They play every game known to man and the girl loses every time. Soon she is bare naked. The boy takes a long look and runs off the road. They slide into a tree and the boy is trapped in the car. He yells to his girlfriend, “Quick, go get help!”
She says, “I can’t, I’m naked.”
He hands her a shoe to cover with. Desperately she covers her “lower parts” and runs to the road. She flags down a truck driver and yells, “Help me, my boyfriend is stuck.”
The truck driver replies, “Honey, if he’s that far gone, I don’t think we can get him out again!”
Food Stamp
Your mama’s so stupid she tried to mail a letter with a food stamp.
Psychiatrists Meeting Joke
A group of psychiatrists were attending a convention. Four of them got together after to chat
about the convention. One said to the other three, “People are always coming to us with their
guilt and fears, but we have no one that we can go to when we have problems.”
Then one said, “Since we are all professionals, why don’t we take some time right now to hear
each other out?”
The other three agreed.
The first then confessed, “I have an uncontrollable desire to kill my patients.”
The second psychiatrist said, “I love expensive things and so I find ways to cheat my patients
out of their money whenever I can so I can buy the things I want.”
The third followed with, “I’m involved with selling drugs and often get my patients to sell them
for me.”
The fourth psychiatrist then confessed, “I know I’m not supposed to, but no matter how hard I
try, I can’t keep a secret…”
Lost in the baloon
Two men are flying in a captive balloon. The wind is ugly and they come away from their course and they have no idea where they are.
So they go down to 15 m above ground and ask a passing wanderer. “Could you tell us where we are?”
“You are in a balloon.”
So the one pilot to the other:
“The answer is perfectly right and absolutely useless. The man must be an economist”
“Then you must be businessmen”, answers the man.
“That’s right! How did you know?”
“You have such a good view from where you are and yet you don’t know where you are!”
In Fine Working Order
A Scotsman is on holiday in New York City.
It’s a balmy spring day and he is wearing a kilt.
A young woman comes up to him and boldly asks him if anything is worn beneath the kilt.
“No lassie” he replies, “everything is in fine working order.”
