Months of the year
Teacher: What is the first month?
Student: January
Teacher: What is the second month?
Student: February
Teacher: What is the tenth month?
Student: Delivery
Silly Amy
Teacher: “Amy, what do you call the outside of a tree?”
Student: “No idea miss”
Teacher told angrily: “Bark, Amy”.
Amy: “Bow Wow Wow Miss”
Jokes by Category
Latest Funny Jokes
Things Found Only in America
1. Only in America……can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
2. Only in America……are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
3. Only in America……do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
4. Only in America……do people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet Coke.
5. Only in America……do banks leave both doors to the vault open and then chain the pens to the counters.
6. Only in America……do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
7. Only in America……do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won’t miss a call from someone we didn’t want to talk to in the first place.
8. Only in America……do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
9. Only in America……do we use the word ’politics’ to describe the process so well: Poli’ in Latin meaning ’many’ and ’tics’ meaning ’bloodsucking creatures’.
10. Only in America……do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
Einstein Joke, Talks With God
Einstein climbs to the top of Mt. Sinai to get close enough to talk to God.
Looking up, he asks the Lord… “God, what does a million years mean to you?”
The Lord replies, “A minute.”
“Einstein asks, “And what does a million dollars mean to you?”
The Lord replies, “A penny.”
Einstein asks, “Can I have a penny?”
The Lord replies, “In a minute.”
The Dark Side of the Force
The Dark Side of the Force lies in your shorts, where the sun never shines!
A Blonde Brain
A guy goes online looking for brains. He sees a red head brain for $2,000, a brunette brain for $1,000, and a blonde brain for $6,000.
The guy asks his friend why the blonde brain is so much and his friend said, “Because it’s never been used.”