Childrens Games
A little boy runs into his house and asks, “Mom, can little girs have babies?”
The mom answers, “No, of course not.” The little boy runs outside, yelling, “It’s ok, we can play the game again!”
Stoopid Baby Names
A mother was sitting on the couch reading a book when one of her children walked up to her and said, “Mummy, why is my name Petal?”
The mother replied, “Because when you were born, a petal fell on your head.”
The next baby walked up and asked, “Mummy why is my name Rose?” she replied,
“Because when you were born, a rose fell on your head.” The last baby walked up to her and said, “BLAS CLAFLAS YIFRASSAM TASSM POONNFFFIINRTY.”
The mother replied, “Please be quiet, Fridge.”
Jokes by Category
Latest Funny Jokes
Chicken Wire & Duct Tape
An old man in Mississippi is sitting on his front porch watching the sun rise. He sees the neighbor’s kid walk by carrying something big under his arm. “Hey boy, whatcha got there?”
“Roll of chicken wire.”
“What you gonna do with that?”
“Gonna catch some chickens.”
“You damn fool! You can’t catch chickens with chicken wire!” The boy just laughs and keeps walking. That evening at sunset, the boy comes walking by, dragging behind him the chicken wire with about 30 chickens caught in it.
The next morning, the old man is out watching the sun rise and he sees the boy walk by carrying something in his hand. “Hey boy, whatcha got there?”
“Roll of duct tape.”
“What you gonna do with that?”
“Gonna catch me some ducks.”
“You damn fool! You can’t catch ducks with duct tape!”
The boy just laughs and keeps walking.That night around sunset the boy walks by, trailing behind him the unrolled roll of duct tape with about 35 ducks caught in it.
The next morning, the old man sees the boy walking by carrying what looks like a long reed with something fuzzy on the end. ”Hey boy, whatcha got there?”
“It’s a pussy willow.”
“Wait up…I’ll get my hat.”
If you were my husband…
A woman at a party walked up to a man and told him, “If you were my husband I would poison your drink.” The man replied, “If you were my wife I would drink it.”
Turn On Your Energizer Bunny
What happens when you put the batteries in BACKWARDS in the Energizer Bunny?
He keeps coming and coming and coming…
How was school today?
Mother, “How was school today, Patrick?”
Patrick, “It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!”
Mother, “Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?”
Patrick, “What school?”