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Funny Jokes

The largest collection of jokes.

The Engineer and the Bike

Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said, “Where did you get such a great bike?”

The second engineer replied, “Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, “Take what you want.”

The second engineer nodded approvingly, “Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn’t

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What is yellow and dangerous?

Q: What is yellow and dangerous?

A: Pike infested custard.

Four Fathers

Four expectant fathers were in a Minneapolis hospital waiting room,
while their wives were in labour.

The nurse tells the first man, “Congratulations! You’re the father of
twins!”

“What a coincidence! I work for the Minnesota Twins baseball team!”

The nurse returns and tells the second man, “You are the father of
triplets!”

“Wow, what a coincidence! I work for 3M Corporation!”

When the nurse tells the third man that his wife has given birth to
quadruplets.

“Another coincidence! I work for Four Seasons Hotel!”

At this point, the fourth guy faints. When he comes to, the others ask
what’s wrong.

“What’s wrong?! I work for Seven-Up!”

The Engineer and the Bike

Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said, “Where did you get such a great bike?”

The second engineer replied, “Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, “Take what you want.”

The second engineer nodded approvingly, “Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn’t

Presents in the past

Grandfather:
“When I was your age, all I’ve got for Christmas was an apple and a blackberry.

Boy:
“WHAT! A LAPTOP AND A MOBILE?!”

Redneck Top Ten

1) You’ve ever had to lug a paint can to the top of a water tower to defend your sister’s honor.
2) Your wife’s hairdo has ever been destroyed by a ceiling fan.
3) You go to your family reunion to pick up women.
4) Your richest relative buys a new house — and you have to help him take the wheels off it.
5) You think a six-pack and a bug zapper is quality entertainment.
6) Your family tree does not fork.
7) You’ve ever been too drunk to fish.
8) You’ve lost more than two teeth opening beer bottles.
9) You helped your cousin move his refrigerator — and the grass underneath it has turned yellow.
10) You owe the taxidermist more than your annual income.