The Boss
One day a man goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot. The assistant takes the man to the parrot section and asks the man to choose one. The man asks, “How much is the yellow one?”
The assistant says, “$2000.” The man is shocked and asks the assistant why it’s so expensive.
The assistant explains, “This parrot is a very special one. He knows typewriting and can type really fast.”
“What about the green one?” the man asks.
The assistant says, “He costs $5000 because he knows typewriting and can answer incoming telephone calls and takes notes.”
“What about the red one?” the man asks.
The assistant says, “That one’s $10,000.”
The man says, “What does HE do?”
The assistant says, “I don’t know, but the other two call him boss.”
Hunting
Two guys were out hunting, but they werent getting any ducks.
“What do you think the problem is?” one man asked his companion.
“I dunno,” came the reply, “Maybe we arent throwing the dog up high enough.”
Penguins to the Zoo
This man had to take a bunch of penguins to the zoo for the new exibit. On the way into town his truck broke down and he pulled
over to the side of the road. A guy pulls up next to him and says, ‘Hey, do you need some help?’
The man says, ‘Actually, all I need is to get these penguins to the zoo. If I give you 50 bucks will you make sure you take hem?’
So the guy takes the money and the penguins and takes off. The man went to fix his truck and an hour later he’s pulling up into town to go check on the penguins.
He stops at a red light and looks across the street and sees the guy walking with all the penguins following behind him. The man
gets out of his car and screams at the guy, ‘Hey! What are you doing? I thought I gave you 50 bucks to get the penguins to the
zoo!!’
The guy turns with a big smile and says, ‘I did take them to the zoo and I had some money left over so now I’m taking them to the
movies.’
Taste
What did one Lesbian Frog say to the other? Gee, we really do taste like chicken.
Why do gorillas have big noses?
Q: Why do gorillas have big noses?
A: Because they have big fingers.
