Vici in šale
Send a Joke

Funny Jokes

The largest collection of jokes.

The kind lawyer

One afternoon, a wealthy lawyer was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw two men eating grass by the road side. He ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate.

“Why are you eating grass?” he asked one man.
“We don’t have any money for food.” the poor man replied.
“Oh, come along with me then.”
“But sir, I have a wife with two children!”
“Bring them along! And you, come with us too!”, he said to the other man.
“But sir, I have a wife with six children!” the second man answered.
“Bring them as well!”

They all climbed into the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limo. Once underway, one of the poor fellows says, “Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you.”

The lawyer replied, “No problem, the grass at my home is about two feet tall!”

KATEGORIJE

Zadnji dodani Funny Jokes

Jerry Seinfeld’s Ponderables…

Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Can fat people go skinny dipping?

Why is the word “abbreviation” so long?

What’s another word for thesaurus?

If a book about failure doesn’t sell, is it a success?

When companies ship Styrofoam, what do they pack it in?

If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?

Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

BBC News

BBC News: “Scots throw away £460 worth of food each every year”
Maybe McDonald’s should stop putting salad in their burgers.

The Juggler

A professional juggler, driving to his next performance, is stopped by the police.

What are you doing with these matches and lighter fluid in your car, asks the police officer. I’m
a juggler and I juggle flaming torches in my act. Oh yeah? Let’s see you do it, says the officer.

So the juggler gets out and starts juggling the blazing torches
masterfully.

A couple driving by slows down to watch. “Wow,” says the driver to his
wife. “I’m glad I quit drinking. Look at the test they’re giving now!”

Hearing Vs. Listening

What a woman says:

Cmon…This place is a mess! You and I need to clean. Your pants are on the floor and you’ll have no clothes if we don’t do laundry now!

What a man hears:

C’MON….blah, blah, blah YOU AND I blah, blah, blah, blah, blah ON THE FLOOR blah, blah, blah, NO CLOTHES blah, blah, blah, blah, NOW!

Presents in the past

Grandfather:
“When I was your age, all I’ve got for Christmas was an apple and a blackberry.

Boy:
“WHAT! A LAPTOP AND A MOBILE?!”