Engineer as a Designer of the Human Body
Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible designers of the human body.
One said, “It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints.”
Another said, “No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous systems many thousands of electrical connections.”
The last said, “Actually it was a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?”
Lost in the baloon
Two men are flying in a captive balloon. The wind is ugly and they come away from their course and they have no idea where they are.
So they go down to 15 m above ground and ask a passing wanderer. “Could you tell us where we are?”
“You are in a balloon.”
So the one pilot to the other:
“The answer is perfectly right and absolutely useless. The man must be an economist”
“Then you must be businessmen”, answers the man.
“That’s right! How did you know?”
“You have such a good view from where you are and yet you don’t know where you are!”
“Mommy,” Little Johnny asked, “do all fairy tales begin with ‘Once upon a time’?”
“No, dear,” she replied. “Sometimes they start with ‘Darling, I’ll be working late at the office tonight…’ “
A young man wanted to purchase a gift for his new sweetheart’s birthday, and as they had not been dating very long, after careful consideration, he decided a pair of gloves would strike the right note: romantic, but not too personal.
Accompanied by his sweetheart’s younger sister, he went to Nordstrom and bought a pair of white gloves.
The sister purchased a pair of panties for herself.During the wrapping, the clerk mixed up the items and the sister got the gloves and the sweetheart got the panties. Without checking the contents, the young man sealed the package and sent it to his sweetheart with the following note:
“I chose these because I noticed that you are not in the habit of wearing any when we go out in the evening. If it had not been for your sister, I would have chosen the long ones with the buttons, but she wears short ones that are easier to remove. These are a delicate shade, but the lady I bought them from showed me the pair she had been wearing for the past three weeks and they were hardly soiled. I had her try yours on for me and she looked really smart. I wish I was there to put them on for you the first time, as no doubt other hands will come in contact with them before I have a chance to see you again. When you take them off, remember to blow in them before
putting them away as they will naturally be a little damp from wearing. Just think how many times I will kiss them during the coming year. I hope you will wear them for me on Friday night. All
P.S. The latest style is to wear them folded down with a little fur showing.”
Q: Why can’t men get mad cow disease?
A: Because they’re pigs.