Out of T.P.
A sexy lady in a bar walks up to the counter and motions the bartender over. She starts to run her fingers through his hair and asks to speak to the manager. The bartender says, ”He isn’t here but I can do anything the manger can do for you.” By this time the lady is running her fingers down his face and into his mouth and is letting him suck on her fingers.
She says, ”You’re sure he isn’t here?”
The bartender says, ”Yes, I’m very sure.”
The lady says, ”Well, I just wanted to tell him there’s no toilet paper or soap in the women’s restroom.”
Take Off My Clothes
My wife came home the other night and told me to take off her blouse.
Then she told me to take off her skirt. Then she told me never to wear her clothes again.
Why are men so smart during sex?
Cause they’re plugged into a genius!
Little Johnny in Love
The pretty teacher was concerned with one of her eleven-year-old students. Taking him aside after class one day, she asked,
“Little Johnny, why has your school work been so poor lately?”
“I’m in love,” the boy replied.
Holding back an urge to smile, she asked, “With whom?”
“With YOU!” he said.
“But Johnny,” she said gently, “don’t you see how silly that is?
It’s true that I would like a husband of my own someday. But I don’t want a child.”
“Oh, don’t worry,” the boy said reassuringly, “I’ll use a rubber!”
A Blonde Brain
A guy goes online looking for brains. He sees a red head brain for $2,000, a brunette brain for $1,000, and a blonde brain for $6,000.
The guy asks his friend why the blonde brain is so much and his friend said, “Because it’s never been used.”