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TOP TWENTY REASONS WHY CHOCOLATE IS BETTER THAN SEX

TOP TWENTY REASONS WHY CHOCOLATE IS BETTER THAN SEX

1. You can GET chocolate.
2. “If you love me, you’ll swallow” has real meaning with chocolate.
3. Chocolate satisfies even when it has gone soft.
4. You can safely have chocolate while you are driving.
5. You can make chocolate last as long as you want it to.
6. You can have chocolate even in front of your mother.
7. If you bite the nuts too hard, the chocolate won’t mind.
8. 2 people of the same sex can have chocolate together without being called nasty names.
9. The word ‘commitment’ doesn’t scare off chocolate.
10. You can have chocolate on top of your desk during working hours without upsetting your workmates.
11. You can ask a stranger for chocolate without getting your face slapped.
12. You don’t get hairs in your mouth with chocolate.
13. With chocolate, there’s no need to fake it.
14. Chocolate doesn’t make you pregnant.
15. You can have chocolate at any time of the month.
16. Good chocolate is easy to find.
17. You can have as many kinds of chocolate as you can handle.
18. You are never too young or too old for chocolate.
19. When you have chocolate it does not keep your neighbors awake.
20. With chocolate size doesn’t matter; it’s always good.

Latest Funny Jokes

What do you call a snowman in the summer?

Q: What do you call a snowman in the summer?

A: A puddle.

Beer Vs Girls

1) You always know if you are the first one to open a beer.
2) A beer never gets jealous if you grab another beer.
3) A beer never gets angry if you show up smelling of beer.
4) The colder a beer, the better.
5) You can always share a beer with your friends.
6) A beer does not get upset if you arrive at 3 a.m.
7) You can choose a beer from the case and, if you change your mind, you can pick another one.

It’s your turn

The phone rings at FBI headquarters. “Hello?”. “I’m calling to report my neighbor. He is hiding marijuana inside his firewood.”
“Thank you very much for the call, sir.”
The next day, FBI agents descend on the neighbor’s house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but find no marijuana. They swear at the neighbors and leave.

The phone rings at the neighbors house. Hey, Adrian, did the FBI come?”

“Yep.”
“Did they chop your firewood?”
“Yep.”
“Great, now it’s your turn to call. I need my lawn mowed.”

Traffic Stop

1st Officer: “Guess who I pulled over in a traffic stop the other day?”
2nd Officer: “Who?”
1st Officer: “Janet Jackson!”
2nd Officer: “What she do, was she speeding?”
1st Officer: “Nah, she had one headlight out.”

Where do snowmen go to dance?

Q: Where do snowmen go to dance?

A: Snowballs.