Jerry Seinfeld’s Ponderables…
Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Can fat people go skinny dipping?
Why is the word “abbreviation” so long?
What’s another word for thesaurus?
If a book about failure doesn’t sell, is it a success?
When companies ship Styrofoam, what do they pack it in?
If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
How Do You Like That
A woman goes to the hospital, and her doctor gives her a sonogram. He sees the baby and suddenly the baby says, “Are you my daddy?” The doctor is shocked and goes to get another doctor, who looks at the sonogram. The baby says again, “Are you my daddy?” The doctor says, “No, I’m not your father.”
They go to get the dad, the father looks at his baby boy and the baby asked, “Are you my daddy?” And the father says, “Yes, I am!” So, the baby pops out of the mother’s womb, picks up his hand, and starts poking the father in the head while saying, “How do you like that?! How do you like that?!”
One day a father called his 6 children together and asked,
“Now tell me, who has been most obedient during last week and did everything mother asked?”
In one voice they all replied, “You, Daddy!”
One teen-age boy to another: “My Dad had a long talk with me about girls last night. He doesn’t know anything about them, either.”
There were three dogs at a veternarian’s office, all of them looked sad. The first one asked the second, “Why are you here?” The dog replied, “I’m getting put to sleep because I kept peeing on my owners’ new rug.”
The first dog said, “I know how you feel — I’m getting put to sleep because I peed in my owner’s new car.” They both looked at the third dog and said, “Why are you here?” The dog sighed and said, “Well my owner likes to clean in the nude and one day she bent over and I gave her the ride of her life.”
“So you’re getting put to sleep too?” asked the other dogs. “No. I’m getting my nails clipped.”