A pipe burst in a doctor’s house. He called a plumber. The plumber arrived, unpacked his tools, did mysterious plumber-type things for a while, and handed the doctor a bill for $800.
The doctor exclaimed, “This is ridiculous! I don’t even make that much as a doctor!.”
The plumber waited for him to finish and quietly said, “Neither did I when I was a doctor.”
Musical Movie Stars
Steven Spielberg was busy discussing his new action adventure about famous classical composers. Bruce Willis, Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger were in the room.
“Who do you want to play?” Spielberg asked Bruce Willis.
“I’ve always been a big fan of Chopin,” said Bruce. “I’ll play him.”
“And you, Sylvester?” asked Spielberg.
“Mozart’s the one for me!” said Sly.
“And what about you?” Spielberg asked Arnold Schwarzenegger.
“I’ll be Bach,” said Arnie.
She sends him a SMS message:
– My dear, if you sleep send me your dreams, if you laugh send me your smile, if you cry send me your tears. I love you.
– Im on latrine duty. What do you want that I send to you?
Two drunks are making conversation at the bar:
-Tell me, how does your wife reacts when you come home drunk?
– I’m not married!
– And why are you drinking?
Who sends a thousand valentines cards signed’, guess who’?
Q: Who sends a thousand valentines cards signed’, guess who’?
A: A divorce lawyer.