Pig In A Bar
A lady goes into a bar with her goose. Then the bartender comes up to her and says, “Why did you have to bring the pig in with you?”
Then the lady answered, “Excuse me, I think this is a goose.”
And the bartender says, “Excuse me, I was talking to the goose.”
A young couple met with their pastor to set a date for their wedding.
When he asked whether they preferred a contemporary or a traditional service, they opted for the contemporary.
On the big day, a major storm forced the groom to take an alternate route to the church. The streets were flooded, so he rolled up his pant legs to keep his trousers dry.
When he finally reached the church, his best man rushed him into the sanctuary and up to the altar, just as the ceremony was starting. “Pull down your pants, whispered the pastor.
“Uh, Reverend, I’ve changed my mind,” the groom responded. “I think I would prefer the traditional service.”
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Why the long face?”
Hemophiliac and Virgin
Q: What do a hemophiliac and a virgin have in common?
A: One prick and they’re done.
Some bad news and some very bad news
Doctor: I have some bad news and some very bad news for you.
Patient: Well, might as well give me the bad news first.
Doctor: The lab called with your test results. They said you have only 24 hours to live.
Patient: 24 HOURS! That’s terrible! What could be worse? What’s the very bad news?
Doctor: I’ve been trying to reach you since yesterday.