Twick or Treat
On Halloween, this woman opens her door to find the most adorable little girl, with golden blond hair and the biggest blue eyes. She was dressed as an witch, and was just delightful.
The woman said, “What are you supposed to say sweetheart?”
The little girl looks up at the woman and says… “Twick or Tweat!”
The woman thinks this is just adorable, and she calls her husband to come to the door.
The woman say to the child, “Go ahead honey say it just one more time.”
Once again the little Angel looks up and says, “Twick or Tweat!”
The husband agrees with his wife, this little witch is just the cutest thing.
The woman picks an apple from the Treat Bowl, shines it up with her apron, and drops it into the little girl’s Treat Bag.
The little witch looks in her bag then looks up at the woman and says…
“Thanks lady, you just boke my $@*!#^% cookies!”
Why are blondes like cornflakes
Q: Why are blondes like cornflakes?
A: Because they’re simple, easy and they taste good.
Rookie Pitcher
A rookie pitcher was struggling at the mound, so the catcher walked up to have a talk with him.
“I’ve figured out your problem,” he told the young southpaw. “You always lose control at the same point in every game.”
“When is that?”
“Right after the National Anthem.”
Gas Men
Two gas company servicemen, a senior training supervisor and a young trainee were out checking meters in a suburban neighborhood. They parked their truck at the end of the alley and worked their way to the other end.
At the last house, a woman looking out her kitchen window watched the two men as they checked her gas meter.
Finishing the meter check, the senior supervisor challenged his younger coworker to a foot race down the alley and back to the truck to prove that an older guy could outrun a younger one.
As they came running up to the truck, they realized the lady from that last house was huffing and puffing right behind them. They stopped and asked her what was wrong.
Gasping for breath, she replied, “When I see two gas men running as hard as you two were, I figured I’d better run too!”
Fishing Lure
A couple of young boys were fishing at their special pond off the beaten track. All of a sudden, the Game Warden jumped out of the bushes.
Immediately, one of the boys threw his rod down and started running through the woods like a bat out of hell. The Game Warden was hot on his heels.
After about a half mile, the young man stopped and stooped over with his hands on his thighs to catch his breath, so the Game Warden finally caught up to him.
“Let’s see your fishing license, Boy!” the Warden gasped.
With that, the boy pulled out his wallet and gave the Game Warden a valid fishing license.
“Well, son,” said the Game Warden. “You must be about as dumb as a box of rocks! You don’t have to run from me if you have a valid license!”
“Yes, sir,” replied the young guy. “But my friend back there, well, he don’t have one.”
