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Funny Jokes

The largest collection of jokes.

Yo Mamma Like

YO MOMMA LIKE…

potato chips–Fri-to Lay.

a screen door, after a couple bangs, she tends to loosen up.

the pillsbury doughboy – everyone gets a poke.

a doorknob, everybody gets a turn.

a bus, 50 cents and she ready to ride.

a golf course, everyone gets a hole in one.

the railway system, she gets laid all over the country.

a tomato sauce bottle, everyone get a squeeze outta her.

a shotgun, one cock and she blows.

a hardware store, 4 cents a screw.

a Dimino’s pizza, somethin’ for nothin’.

a refrigerador, everyone likes to put their meat in her.

cake mix, 15 servings per package.

a rifle, four cocks and she’s full.

a bowoling ball, she picked up, fingered, then thrown in the gutter.

a bus, guys climb on and off her all day.

a Toyota, “Oh, what a feelin’!”

Orange Crush crush, “Good vibrations.”

a bubble-gum machine, 25 cents a blow.

chinese food, sweet sour, and cheap.

a vacuum cleaner, a real good suck.

Latest

Bright Side

Frank always looked on the bright side. He would constantly irritate his friends with his eternal optimism. No matter how horrible the circumstance, he would always reply, “It could have been worse.” To cure him of his annoying habit, his friends decided to invent a situation so completely bad, so terrible, that even Frank could find no hope in it.

On the golf course one day, one of them said, “Frank, did you hear about Tom? He came home last night, found his wife in bed with another man, shot them both and then turned the gun on himself!”
“That’s awful,” said Frank, “But it could have been worse.”

“How in the hell,” asked his bewildered friend, “Could it have been worse?”
“Well,” replied Frank, “If it happened the night before, I’d be dead now!”

Old hag

Your mama is so old when she farts dust comes out.

KFC

Why did the blonde go to KFC?
She heard she could get a pair of breasts for $1.99.

Sleeping Blonde

Why was the blonde having trouble sleeping?

She forgot to close her eyes.

Miss Right

Q: I married Miss Right.

A: I just didn’t know her first name was “Always”.