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Funny Jokes

The largest collection of jokes.

Yo Momma got

Yo momma got so many freckles she looks like a hamburger!

Yo momma got two wooden legs and one is one backward.

Yo momma got three fingers and a banjo.

Yo momma got a wooden leg with a kickstand on it.

Yo momma got a bald head with a part and sideburns.

Yo momma got a’ afro, wit’ a chin strap!

Yo momma got a wooden leg with branches.

Yo momma got so many teeth missing, it looks like her tounge is in jail.

Zadnji dodani

Rookie Pitcher

A rookie pitcher was struggling at the mound, so the catcher walked up to have a talk with him.
“I’ve figured out your problem,” he told the young southpaw. “You always lose control at the same point in every game.”

“When is that?”

“Right after the National Anthem.”

Space Shuttle Redneck

How’d the redneck git lost in space?

He rolled down the window to spit out his chaw!

Show the map again!

A guy is walking along the shoreline at the beach wearing just a pair of cutoff jeans. Sure enough he kicks up a bottle, pulls the cork, and out comes the Genie to give him one wish. He pulls out a map of the Middle East, and asks the Genie if he can bring Peace to this part of the World.
The Genie pales, and says “Master, these people have been at war since time began. It is their nature, the very fiber of their lives. What you ask is totally impossible. It is probably the only wish I cannot grant you. Ask for anything else and I will make it happen.”

“OK”, the dude says, “tomorrow morning have my wife awaken me, with the best blow job I’ve ever had, on her own, without my begging and pleading. Because SHE LIKES IT, because SHE WANTS TO, because IT TURNS HER ON!!”

The Genie shakes his head and says “LET ME SEE THAT MAP AGAIN!”

Message

Closing a task, I get the following message:
“If you shutdown this program, it will not function
correctly”.
Well, what do you know! I thought it would just keep on working!

Your Mamas Teeth

Your mama’s teeth are so yellow that when she smiled at a bunch of Formula 1 race car drivers, they all thought it was a caution sign and pulled over.