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Funny Jokes

The largest collection of jokes.

Young Couple

A young couple got married, and in their family, it was tradition that the best man dance with the bride for the first song. Well, this happened…but then they danced for the second song too. And the third. By the time the fourth song came on, the groom ran up and kicked the bride between the legs. A riot broke out, and all the invited guests were hauled off to jail.
In court the next week, the judge asked the best man what happened.

”Your honor, we were just dancing, and the groom ran up and kicked the bride between the legs.”

”That must have hurt,” said the judge.

”No kidding,” said the best man. ”I broke three of my fingers.”

Latest Funny Jokes

Control freaks

Three men are at a bar, and two of the men are talking about the control they have over their wives, while the third remains silent.

After a while, the first two men turn to the third and ask, “What about you? What kind of control do you have over your wife?”

The third man turns to the first two and says, “Well, I’ll tell you, just the other day I had her on her knees.”

The first two men were dumbfounded.

“Wow! What happened next?” they asked.

The third man takes a healthy swig of his beer, sighs and mutters, “Then she started screaming, ‘Get out from under the bed and fight like a man!’”

Stolen credit card

A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it
because the thief was spending less than his wife did.

IBM

Ideas Bring Money
Insidious Byzantine Mentality
Intergalactic Bottomline Mistake
Inevitably Bad Marketing
Indicision Breeds Mistakes
Inshallah Burak Ma’lesh
Imensa Bola De Manteca
Iconoclastic Bilateral Monopoly
Incontinent Bandolerismo Molock
Imperial Bellicose` Marauder
Impious Bacchanalian Metopolis
I’d Buy Macintosh
Imbecilic Bad Micros
Imperialisim By Marketing
Intensely Boring Machines
Interesting But Mundane
Internals By Mediocrity
Into Building Money
Industries’ Bungling Monolith
Irresponibly Behaved Multinational
Increasingly Bad Manufacturing
Insipidly Bankrolling Millions
Inconsistent Business Machines
Innovation By Management
Industry Bowel Movement
I’m Being Manipulated
International Brotherhood Magicians
Intercourse Beats Mastubation
Incredibly Bloody Minded
Idealistically Backward Microcomputers
Intentionally Braindamaged Machinery
Idle Brain Malfunction
Imitable Boring Microcomputers
Impeccably Blue-Dressed Managers
Itty Bitty Machines
I’ve Been Misled
Ifs Buts Maybes
It’s Better ‘Morrow
Incompatible Blue Machines
Indigestion Bothers Me
Intersmashable Byte Manipulators
Icons Bygones My Mom’s
It Breaks Monthly
Infinitely Baffling Motives
I’m Buying Macintosh
It’s Better Manually
Imitation Burroughs Machine
Incredibly Big Monsters
Itty Bitty Mentality
Incredible Bowel Movement
I’ve Been Mesmerized
Insignificant Bothersome Machines
Its Broke Ma’am
International Bit Mangler
Increasingly Banal Management
Infernal Blue Machine
Insultingly Boring Microcomputers
Ill-Mannered Besotted Macrocosm
Immeasureable Bigheaded Malapert
Impersonal Bellicose Magnate
Insolent Bickering Mal-Der-Mer
Indecorous Boastful Mercenary
Inept Bullying Menace
Immovable Brash Monolith
Inferior Before Macintosh
Ici Beaucoup Merde
I’m Beyond Mistakes
I’ve Been Mangled
Inherently By Microsoft
Incredibly Bad Manuals
I’ll Buy Macintosh
It’s Beyond Monolithic
Install Bigger Memory
Infernal Big Mistake
Incredibly Broad Monopoly
It’s Bugging Me
Itty Bitty Mouse
I Bring Madness
Incredibly Big Manufacturer
Industry’s Biggest Mistake
I Built Mine
I Broke Mine
Idiots Being Mental
I’ve Been Mauled
Invented By Maladroits
Invented By Marketing
Insultingq Boorish Manner
Inane Brutish Merchandizing
Infinite Budget Merchandizing
It’s Bullshit Mummery
It’s Become Monolithic
Inadequates Becoming Millionaires
I’d Be Misinforming
Idiots Became Managers
Incredibly Boring Manuals
Incredibly Belligerent Marketing
Interesting Buy Mediorcre
Invented By Murphy
Insanely Better Marketing
Illustrious Busy Mice
Itty Bitty Maharishi
Illmanners Being Mandatory
It Broke Me
Illustrious Bankruptcy Malefactor
Insensitivity Begets Mediocrity
I’ve Become Magnanimous
I Blame Mathematics
Internal Byte Malefunction
Intellectually Blessed Marketers
Instant Black Market
Ibmers Bug Me
Indestructible Blue Monster
Incredibly Big Money
Indisposed Black Monday
I Believe In Money
Industry Bully Manifique
Incredibly Boring Machines
Infoworlds Best Moneymakers
International Business Manipulators
Industry’s Big Mama
Intel’s Best Merchandizer
Innovation? Bah! Marketing
I’ve Been Megamarketed
Industry’s Being Megamarketed
International Business

30 Days Or $30

A man was caught for speeding and went before the judge.
The judge said, “What will you take….30 days or $30.”
The man replied, “I think I’ll take the money.”

2 men on an ladder

“Send someone over quickly!” the old woman screamed into the phone. “Two naked men are climbing towards my bedroom window!”
“This is the Fire Department, lady,” the voice replied. “I’ll have to transfer you to the Police Department.”
“No, it’s YOU I want!” she yelled. “They need a longer ladder!”