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Funny Jokes

The largest collection of jokes.

Golf and Taxes

Q. How is golf like taxes?

A. Well, you drive hard to get to the green, and then you wind up in the hole.

Latest Golf Jokes

Ford Cars vs Golf Balls

What’s the difference between a Ford and a golf ball?

You can drive a golf ball 200 yards.

Four Dads Playing Golf

Four dads were having a game of golf with their sons. While the sons were ahead on the next hole, the dads started to talk about how well their sons were doing.

The first dad said, “My son is doing great in the garage building business. He’s doing so well that he gave a friend a new garage!”

The second dad said, “That’s nothing. My son has his own car business. And he’s done so well that he gave a new car to one of his friends.”

The third dad said, “My son has topped both of yours. My son has self-owned housing business. He has done so well in the past year that he had enough to give a house to a friend.”

The fourth dad didn’t say anything. One of the other three asked him, How is your son doing?” The fourth dad said, “Well, I still don’t like how my son is gay and has no work. But he is doing quite well. He’s received a new house, a new garage, and a new car.”

Tee Shot

A guy stood over his tee shot for what seemed an eternity, looking up, looking down, measuring the distance, figuring the wind direction and speed. He was driving his partner nuts. Finally his exasperated partner says, “What’s taking so long? Hit the blasted ball!”

The guy answers, “My wife is up there watching me from the clubhouse. I want to make this a perfect shot.”

“Forget it, man, ” said his partner, “you don’t stand a snowball’s chance in hell of hitting her from here!”

Golf Buddies

There was an old man named Bill and one of the things he most enjoyed was playing golf with his old buddy Fred. His wife always commented on how happy he looked after a game. But one day he came home from their weekly game looking unhappy and very tired. His wife asked, “What’s the matter Bill? You always seem so happy after golf and you look miserable.”

Bill said, “Well, something terrible did happen. Fred had a heart attack on the first hole.”

“My God, honey!” said the wife, rushing to comfort him, “that must’ve been terrible!”

“It was, ” he said, “all day long it was: hit the ball, drag Fred to the ball and then hit it again…”

Hack Golfer

A hack golfer spends a day at a plush country club, playing golf and enjoying the luxury of a complimentary caddy. Being a hack golfer, he plays poorly all day. Round about the 18th hole, he spots a lake off to the left of the fairway. He looks at the caddy and says, “I’ve played so poorly all day, I think I’m going to go drown myself in that lake.”

The caddy looks back at him and says, “I don’t think you could keep your head down that long.”