Funny Jokes
Send a Joke

Funny Jokes

The largest collection of jokes.

Wide Stance

A woman golfer suffers a nasty bee sting and leaves the course to go see her doctor about it.

“What happened?” asked the doctor.

“I got stung between the first and second hole,” replied the lady golfer.

The doctor replied, “You must have an awfully wide stance!”

Latest Golf Jokes

Golfing in the Woods

Q: These days, what do you need to shoot to win a professional golf tournament?

A: Tiger Woods.

Golfing with GOD

One day Jesus and Moses were on the golf course and decide to have a contest over who can make the most outstanding shot.

So, Moses goes first. He settles up for the shot and hammers it straight for the green. Unfortunately, the ball falls into a water hazard. Undaunted, Moses raises his arms to the sky, and the water parts where the ball dropped in. The ball rolls out of the water and onto dry land, only a foot away from the hole.

Jesus looks at Moses and says, “Hey, Moses, that was a pretty good shot. Now let me see what I can do.”

So Jesus settles up for his shot and sends the ball screaming toward the green. Unfortunately, Jesus has the same luck as Moses did. The ball heads straight for the water hazard. Jesus holds out one hand and, instead of dropping into the water, the ball bounces on top of it and rolls onto dry land only three inches from the hole.

Moses says, “Wow, that was an incredible shot!”

No sooner has Moses said this, than the skies grow dark. The wind starts to pick up, lightning and thunder crackle through the sky. Suddenly, a ball falls from the heavens into the same water hazard where Jesus and Moses hit theirs. A fish swims up and swallows the ball. An eagle swoops down, grabs the fish in his talons, and heads for the now darkened sky. Lightning strikes the eagle, and he drops the fish onto the green. The fish opens his mouth, the ball rolls out, and drops into the hole.

Moses turns to Jesus and says, “Man! I hate it when your dad plays!”

Golf Love Poem

I think that I shall never see
a hazard rougher than an tree;

A tree o’er which my ball must fly
if on the green it is to lie;

A tree which stands that green to guard,
and makes the shot extremely hard;

A tree whose leafy arms extend
to kill the six iron shot I send;

A tree that stands in silence there,
while angry golfers rave and swear.

Irons were made for fools like me
who cannot ever miss a tree.

Golf Buddies

There was an old man named Bill and one of the things he most enjoyed was playing golf with his old buddy Fred. His wife always commented on how happy he looked after a game. But one day he came home from their weekly game looking unhappy and very tired. His wife asked, “What’s the matter Bill? You always seem so happy after golf and you look miserable.”

Bill said, “Well, something terrible did happen. Fred had a heart attack on the first hole.”

“My God, honey!” said the wife, rushing to comfort him, “that must’ve been terrible!”

“It was, ” he said, “all day long it was: hit the ball, drag Fred to the ball and then hit it again…”

Wide Stance

A woman golfer suffers a nasty bee sting and leaves the course to go see her doctor about it.

“What happened?” asked the doctor.

“I got stung between the first and second hole,” replied the lady golfer.

The doctor replied, “You must have an awfully wide stance!”