Ring my bell

Ring my bell

In a house in New Jersey, the doorbell rings. The Madame (it's one of those houses) comes to the door and answers it. There is a man with no arms and no legs on the doorstep.
"What do you want?" she asks.

"I want a woman," he says.

"A woman? You don't have any arms or legs. What are you going to do with a woman?"

"I rang the doorbell, didn't I?"

Related Jokes

Stoopid Baby Names

A mother was sitting on the couch reading a book when one of her children walked up to her and said, “Mummy, why is my name Petal?”
The mother replied, “Because when you were born, a petal fell on your head.”

The next baby walked up and asked, “Mummy why is my name Rose?” she replied,

“Because when you were born, a rose fell on your head.” The last baby walked up to her and said, “BLAS CLAFLAS YIFRASSAM TASSM POONNFFFIINRTY.”

The mother replied, “Please be quiet, Fridge.”

Stolen credit card

A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it
because the thief was spending less than his wife did.

Starring Insult

If someone ever says, “What are you staring at?”

Say “I don’t know, give me a minute.”

Squealing Like A Stuck Boyfriend

A young girl and her boyfriend are driving down the road one day. Her boyfriend suggests that they play road games and that whoever loses has to strip. They play every game known to man and the girl loses every time. Soon she is bare naked. The boy takes a long look and runs off the road. They slide into a tree and the boy is trapped in the car. He yells to his girlfriend, “Quick, go get help!”
She says, “I can’t, I’m naked.”

He hands her a shoe to cover with. Desperately she covers her “lower parts” and runs to the road. She flags down a truck driver and yells, “Help me, my boyfriend is stuck.”

The truck driver replies, “Honey, if he’s that far gone, I don’t think we can get him out again!”

Some bad news and some very bad news

Doctor: I have some bad news and some very bad news for you.

Patient: Well, might as well give me the bad news first.

Doctor: The lab called with your test results. They said you have only 24 hours to live.

Patient: 24 HOURS! That’s terrible! What could be worse? What’s the very bad news?

Doctor: I’ve been trying to reach you since yesterday.