The CEO

The CEO

A fellow had just been hired as the new CEO of a large tech corporation. The CEO who was stepping down met with him privately and presented him with three numbered envelopes. "Open one of these if you run up against a problem you don't think you can solve," he said.

Things went along pretty smoothly, but six months later, sales took a downturn and the CEO was really catching a lot of heat. About at his wit's end, he remembered the envelopes. He went to his drawer and took out the first envelope. The message read, "Blame your predecessor."

The new CEO called a press conference and tactfully laid the blame at the feet of the previous CEO. Satisfied with his comments, the press - and Wall Street - responded positively, sales began to pick up and the problem was soon behind him.

About a year later, the company was again experiencing a slight dip in sales, combined with serious product problems. Having learned from his previous experience, the CEO quickly opened the second envelope. The message read, "Reorganize."

This he did, and the company quickly rebounded.

After several consecutive profitable quarters, the company once again fell on difficult times. The CEO went to his office, closed the door and opened the third envelope. The message said, "Prepare three envelopes."

Related Jokes

What Are You Smuggling?

A young man comes up to the border on his bicycle. He has two large bags over his shoulders. The border guard stops him and says, "What's in the bags?"

"Sand," answers the young man.

The guard is a bit skeptical and asks the young man to turn over the bags for inspection. The guard empties the bags, but finds nothing in them but sand. He detains the young man overnight and has the sand analyzed, only to discover that there is nothing but pure sand in the bags. The young man is released and promptly rides across the border with his sand bags.

A week later, the same young man presents himself at the border. The guard asks, "What have you got?"

"Sand," says the young man.

The guard does his thorough examination and discovers that the bags contain nothing but sand. He gives the sand back to the young man who then rides across the border on his bicycle with the sand bags.

This sequence of events is repeated every week for three years. Finally, the young man no longer appears at the border crossing. Many months go by and the border guard sees the young man in a cafe.

"Hey," says the guard, "For three years you were smuggling something through my crossing station. It's driving me crazy. Just between you and me, what were you smuggling?"

The young man sips his coffee and says, "Bicycles."