What a difference 30 years can make

What a difference 30 years can make

1970: Long hair
2000: Longing for hair

1970: The perfect high
2000: The perfect high yield mutual fund

1970: KEG
2000: EKG

1970: Acid rock
2000: Acid reflux

1970: Moving to California because it’s cool
2000: Moving to California because it’s warm

1970: Growing pot
2000: Growing pot belly

1970: Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor
2000: Trying NOT to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor

1970: Seeds and stems
2000: Roughage

1970: Popping pills, smoking joints
2000: Popping joints

1970: Killer weed
2000: Weed killer

1970: Hoping for a BMW
2000: Hoping for a BM

1970: The Grateful Dead
2000: Dr. Kevorkian

1970: Going to a new, hip joint
2000: Receiving a new hip joint

1970: Rolling Stones
2000: Kidney stones

1970: Being called into the principal’s office
2000: Calling the principal’s office

1970: Screw the system
2000: Upgrade the system

1970: Disco
2000: Costco

1970: Parents begging you to get your hair cut
2000: Children begging you to get their heads shaved

1970: Taking acid
2000: Taking antacid

1970: Passing the drivers test
2000: Passing the vision test

1970: Whatever
2000: Depends

Related Jokes

What Are You Smuggling?

A young man comes up to the border on his bicycle. He has two large bags over his shoulders. The border guard stops him and says, "What's in the bags?"

"Sand," answers the young man.

The guard is a bit skeptical and asks the young man to turn over the bags for inspection. The guard empties the bags, but finds nothing in them but sand. He detains the young man overnight and has the sand analyzed, only to discover that there is nothing but pure sand in the bags. The young man is released and promptly rides across the border with his sand bags.

A week later, the same young man presents himself at the border. The guard asks, "What have you got?"

"Sand," says the young man.

The guard does his thorough examination and discovers that the bags contain nothing but sand. He gives the sand back to the young man who then rides across the border on his bicycle with the sand bags.

This sequence of events is repeated every week for three years. Finally, the young man no longer appears at the border crossing. Many months go by and the border guard sees the young man in a cafe.

"Hey," says the guard, "For three years you were smuggling something through my crossing station. It's driving me crazy. Just between you and me, what were you smuggling?"

The young man sips his coffee and says, "Bicycles."