An old snake goes to see his Doctor
“Doc, I need something for my eyes…can’t see well these days.” The Doc fixes him up with a pair of glasses and tells him to return in 2 weeks.
The snake comes back in 2 weeks and tells the doctor he’s very depressed.
Doc says, “What’s the problem…didn’t the glasses help you?”
“The glasses are fine doc, I just discovered I’ve been living with a water hose the past 2 years!”
A little girl asked her mother, “How did the human race come about?”
The Mother answered, “God made Adam and Eve; they had children and, so all mankind was made.”
A few days later, the little girl asked her father the same question. The father answered, “Many years ago there were monkeys, and we developed from them.”
The confused girl returns to her mother and says, “Mom, how is it possible that you told me that the human race was created by God , and Papa says we developed from monkeys?”
The Mother answers, “Well, dear, it is very simple. I told you about the origin of my side of the family, and your father told you about his side.”
Where do you find a birthday present for a cat?
In a cat-alogue!
What do you give a 1000-pound gorilla for his birthday?
Q: What do you give a 1000-pound gorilla for his birthday?
A: I don’t know, but you’d better hope he likes it!
What was the average age of a cave man?
Q. What was the average age of a cave man?
A. Stone Age!