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Nerd Jokes

Looking for the nerd jokes to tell your smartypants friends? There are some funny nerves that all of us self-professed geeks will find not just hilarious but also useful in some sense as they cover life lessons in them.

We have compiled a list of nerd jokes that cover all of your comedy bases including knock-knock jokes, references, Descartes, and puns.

Latest Nerd Jokes

Three Engineers

There are three engineers in a car; an electrical engineer, a chemical engineer and a Microsoft engineer. Suddenly the car just stops by the side of the road, and the three engineers look at each other wondering what could be wrong.

The electrical engineer suggests stripping down the electronics of the car and trying to trace where a fault might have occurred. The chemical engineeer, not knowing much about cars, suggests that maybe the fuel is becoming emulsified and getting blocked somewhere.

Then, the Microsoft engineer, not knowing much about anything, comes up with a suggestion, “Why don`t we close all the windows, get out, get back in, open the windows again, and maybe it`ll work !?”

You Know You’re Addicted to the Net When

1) All of your friends have @ in their names

2) You can’t call your mother…she doesn’t have a modem

3) Your spouse makes a new rule… Computers don’t come to bed.

4) You laugh at people with 56K modems.

5) You start tilting your head to smile 🙂

6) Your phone bill comes to your house in a box

7) You find yourself typing com after every period

8) You start introducing your self as “Jon@internet.com”

A Nerd, a Nude and a Bike

A nerd was walking on campus one day when his friend, another nerd, rode up on an incredible shiny new bicycle. The first nerd was stunned and asked, “Where did you get such a nice bike?”

The second nerd replied, “Well, yesterday I was walking home minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up to me on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, ’Take what you want!’”

The second nerd nodded approvingly and said, “Good choice. The clothes probably wouldn’t have fit.”

Astronaut

What was the astronaut doing on the computer?

Looking for the space bar.

I’m positive

Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, ’I think I’ve lost an electron.’

The other says ’Are you sure?’

The first says, ’Yes, I’m positive.’!