You are an Engineer
If you introduce your wife as “mylady@home.wife”
If your family sends you an e-mail instead of calling you to dinner
If you can quote scenes from any Monty Python movie
If you want an 8X CDROM for Christmas
If Dilbert is your hero
If you have modified your can-opener to be microprocessor driven
If you can name 6 Star Trek episodes
If the only jokes you receive are through e-mail
If you introduce your wife as “mylady@home.wife”
If your idea of good interpersonal communication means getting the decimal point in the right place
If you look forward to Christmas only to put together the kids’ toys
If you use a CAD package to design your son’s Pine Wood Derby car
Superstition
An economic forecaster was known to have an horseshoe prominently displayed above the door frame of his office.
Asked what it was for, he replied that it was a good luck charm that helped his forecasts. But do you believe in that superstition? he was asked,
he said, “Of course not!”
But then why do you keep it?
“Well,” he said, “it works whether you believe in it or not.”
The story is actually told about a non-economist, Danish Nobel prize winner Niels Bohr.
Talking to Nerds
What do you get when you talk to a nerd?
His lunch money.
A Nerd, a Nude and a Bike
A nerd was walking on campus one day when his friend, another nerd, rode up on an incredible shiny new bicycle. The first nerd was stunned and asked, “Where did you get such a nice bike?”
The second nerd replied, “Well, yesterday I was walking home minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up to me on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, ’Take what you want!’”
The second nerd nodded approvingly and said, “Good choice. The clothes probably wouldn’t have fit.”
Three Engineers
There are three engineers in a car; an electrical engineer, a chemical engineer and a Microsoft engineer. Suddenly the car just stops by the side of the road, and the three engineers look at each other wondering what could be wrong.
The electrical engineer suggests stripping down the electronics of the car and trying to trace where a fault might have occurred. The chemical engineeer, not knowing much about cars, suggests that maybe the fuel is becoming emulsified and getting blocked somewhere.
Then, the Microsoft engineer, not knowing much about anything, comes up with a suggestion, “Why don`t we close all the windows, get out, get back in, open the windows again, and maybe it`ll work !?”
