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Funny Jokes

The largest collection of jokes.

Computer Nerd

You know you’re a computer nerd when you know more IP addresses than phone numbers!

Latest Nerd Jokes

You Know You’re Addicted to the Net When

1) All of your friends have @ in their names

2) You can’t call your mother…she doesn’t have a modem

3) Your spouse makes a new rule… Computers don’t come to bed.

4) You laugh at people with 56K modems.

5) You start tilting your head to smile 🙂

6) Your phone bill comes to your house in a box

7) You find yourself typing com after every period

8) You start introducing your self as “Jon@internet.com”

I’m positive

Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, ’I think I’ve lost an electron.’

The other says ’Are you sure?’

The first says, ’Yes, I’m positive.’!

Superstition

An economic forecaster was known to have an horseshoe prominently displayed above the door frame of his office.

Asked what it was for, he replied that it was a good luck charm that helped his forecasts. But do you believe in that superstition? he was asked,

he said, “Of course not!”

But then why do you keep it?

“Well,” he said, “it works whether you believe in it or not.”

The story is actually told about a non-economist, Danish Nobel prize winner Niels Bohr.

Talking to Nerds

What do you get when you talk to a nerd?

His lunch money.

Stats

– A total of 4000 cans are opened around the world every second
– Ten babies are conceived around the world every second
– Each time you open a can, you stand a 1 in 400 chance of falling pregnant
– Ten percent of all car thieves are left-handed
– All polar bears are left-handed
– If your car is stolen, there’s a 10 percent chance it was nicked by a Polar bear