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Funny Jokes

The largest collection of jokes.

Ethiopian

What goes a hundred miles an hour around the desert?

An Ethiopian with a free voucher at McDonald’s!

Latest Nerd Jokes

Talking to Nerds

What do you get when you talk to a nerd?

His lunch money.

You are an Engineer

If you introduce your wife as “mylady@home.wife”

If your family sends you an e-mail instead of calling you to dinner

If you can quote scenes from any Monty Python movie

If you want an 8X CDROM for Christmas

If Dilbert is your hero

If you have modified your can-opener to be microprocessor driven

If you can name 6 Star Trek episodes

If the only jokes you receive are through e-mail

If you introduce your wife as “mylady@home.wife”

If your idea of good interpersonal communication means getting the decimal point in the right place

If you look forward to Christmas only to put together the kids’ toys

If you use a CAD package to design your son’s Pine Wood Derby car

How Many Ears

How many ears does Spock have?

Three: One on the right, one on the left, and the final “front ear.”

You Might Be a Computer Nerd

You might be a computer nerd if you can’t get up in the middle of the night to go use the bathroom without checking your email!

Stats

– A total of 4000 cans are opened around the world every second
– Ten babies are conceived around the world every second
– Each time you open a can, you stand a 1 in 400 chance of falling pregnant
– Ten percent of all car thieves are left-handed
– All polar bears are left-handed
– If your car is stolen, there’s a 10 percent chance it was nicked by a Polar bear