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Funny Jokes

The largest collection of jokes.

Stats

– A total of 4000 cans are opened around the world every second
– Ten babies are conceived around the world every second
– Each time you open a can, you stand a 1 in 400 chance of falling pregnant
– Ten percent of all car thieves are left-handed
– All polar bears are left-handed
– If your car is stolen, there’s a 10 percent chance it was nicked by a Polar bear

Latest Nerd Jokes

Skeleton Joke

Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?

It’s ’cause he didn’t have the guts!

Superstition

An economic forecaster was known to have an horseshoe prominently displayed above the door frame of his office.

Asked what it was for, he replied that it was a good luck charm that helped his forecasts. But do you believe in that superstition? he was asked,

he said, “Of course not!”

But then why do you keep it?

“Well,” he said, “it works whether you believe in it or not.”

The story is actually told about a non-economist, Danish Nobel prize winner Niels Bohr.

Ethiopian

What goes a hundred miles an hour around the desert?

An Ethiopian with a free voucher at McDonald’s!

Boomerang

What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t work?

A stick.

How Many Ears

How many ears does Spock have?

Three: One on the right, one on the left, and the final “front ear.”