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Funny Jokes

The largest collection of jokes.

Talking to Nerds

What do you get when you talk to a nerd?

His lunch money.

Latest Nerd Jokes

I’m positive

Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, ’I think I’ve lost an electron.’

The other says ’Are you sure?’

The first says, ’Yes, I’m positive.’!

Microsoft vs. shakespeare

They say that if you have an infinite number of monkeys typing at an infinite number of keyboards for an infinite period of time, you will get the collected works of Shakespeare.

If you get the source code to Microsoft Windows, you need to add more monkeys.

Superstition

An economic forecaster was known to have an horseshoe prominently displayed above the door frame of his office.

Asked what it was for, he replied that it was a good luck charm that helped his forecasts. But do you believe in that superstition? he was asked,

he said, “Of course not!”

But then why do you keep it?

“Well,” he said, “it works whether you believe in it or not.”

The story is actually told about a non-economist, Danish Nobel prize winner Niels Bohr.

How Many Ears

How many ears does Spock have?

Three: One on the right, one on the left, and the final “front ear.”

Talking to Nerds

What do you get when you talk to a nerd?

His lunch money.