One Day While Scaffolding
Steve, Bob, and Jeff were working on a very high scaffolding one day when suddenly, Steve falls off and is killed instantly. After the ambulance leaves with Steve’s body, Bob and Jeff realize that one of them is going to have to tell Steve’s wife.
Bob says he’s good at this sort of sensitive stuff, so he volunteers to do the job. After two hours he returns, carrying a six-pack of beer.
“So did you tell her?” asks Jeff.
“Yep”, replied Bob.
“Say, where did you get the six-pack?”
Bob informs Jeff. “She gave it to me!”
“What??” exclaims Jeff, “you just told her her husband died and she gave you a six-pack??”
“Sure,” Bob says.
“Why?” asks Jeff.
“Well,” Bob continues, “when she answered the door, I asked her, ‘are you Steve’s widow?’ ‘Widow?’, she said, ‘no, no, you’re mistaken, I’m not a widow!’ So I said: “I’ll bet you a six-pack you ARE!’”
Phone
A young businessman had just started his own firm. He’d rented a beautiful office and had it furnished with antiques. Sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear busy, the businessman picked up the phone and started to pretend he had a big deal working. He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments. Finally, he hung up and asked the visitor, “Can I help you?” The man said, “Sure. I’ve come to install the phone!”
Internal Office Training Courses
When you’re on a workplace training course, think of it like this:
When you start the course, you are on-course.
When you’re in the middle of the course, that’s group intercourse.
When you’ve finished the course, that’s when you’re off course, of course.
Chair Man of the Board
Resolving to surprise her husband, an executive’s wife stopped by his office.
When she opened the door, she found him with his secretary sitting in his lap.
Without hesitating, he dictated, “…and in conclusion, gentlemen, budget cuts or no budget cuts, I cannot continue to operate this office with just one chair.”
Top 10 Funny Store Signs
1. Outside a muffler shop: “No appointment necessary, we hear you coming.”
2. Outside a hotel: “Help! We need inn-experienced people.”
3. On a desk in a reception room: “We shoot every 3rd salesman , and the 2nd one just left.”
4. In a veterinarians waiting room: “Be back in 5 minutes, Sit ! Stay!”
5. At the electric company: “We would be de-lighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don’t you will be.”
6. On the door of a computer store: “Out for a quick byte.”
7. In a restaurant window: “Don’t stand there and be hungry, come on in and get fed up.”
8. Inside a bowling alley: “Please be quiet, we need to hear a pin drop.”
9. In the front yard of a funeral home: “Drive carefully, we’ll wait.”
10. In a counselors office: “Growing old is mandatory, growing wise is optional.
