Q: What did one plate say to the other plate?
A: He said, "Lunch is on me!"
Q: Why are pirates called pirates?
A: Because they aaarrreee!
Q: What's brown and sticky?
A: A stick.
Q: What is Fast Food?
A: A chicken running down the road.
Q: Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
A: Because a woman who can’t even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
Q: How many men does it take to open a beer?
A: None. It should be opened when she brings it.
Q: What do a hemophiliac and a virgin have in common?
A: One prick and they’re done.
Q: How do you get a blonde to marry you?
A: Tell her she’s pregnant.
Q: How do blonde brain cells die?