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Funny Jokes

The largest collection of jokes.

Pregnant

Q: I’m two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?

A: With any luck, right after he finishes school.

Latest Q&A Jokes

What stops then goes then stops then goes?

Q: What stops then goes then stops then goes?
A: A blonde at a blinking red light.

A blonde and shower

Q: What’s the difference between a blonde and a shower?

A: You don’t have to turn a blonde on to get her wet.

Grey, yellow

Q: What’s grey, yellow, grey, yellow, grey, yellow, grey, yellow, grey, yellow, grey, yellow?

A: An elephant rolling down a hill with a daisy in its mouth!

How do you tell?

Q: How do you tell when a blonde reaches orgasm?
A1: She drops her nail-file!
A2: Who cares?
A3: She says, “Next”.
A4: The next person in the queue taps you on the shoulder.
A5: He’s had his clothes for about 2 minutes.
A6: I mean, who really cares?
A7: The batteries have run out.

Flies Have Wings, Why?

Q: Do you know why flies have wings?

A: So they can beat the hicks to the watermelon.