What is green and smells?
Q: What’s the difference between your wife and your job?
A: After five years your job still sucks.
Q: Why did the blonde get pulled over by the police?
A: Her headlights weren’t working, so she was flashing people.
Q: How can you tell if a lawyer is well hung?
A: You can’t get a finger between the rope and his neck!
Q: Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
A: Because a woman who can’t even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.