Q: Why are pirates called pirates?
A: Because they aaarrreee!
Q: What’s the difference between your wife and your job?
A: After five years your job still sucks.
Q: Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
A: Because a woman who can’t even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
Q: Why is “U” the happiest letter?
A: Because it is in the middle of “fun”.
Q: Why do men die before their wives?
A: They want to.
Q: Why do gorillas have big noses?
A: Because they have big fingers.